150+ Hilarious Funny Facebook Status Updates!!

Source: Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

Funny Facebook Status Updates is a great way to brighten up your profile page and we share the best ideas here.

150+ Hilarious Funny Facebook Status Updates!!

If you are looking for Funny Facebook Status Updates then you have landed on the right page.

This article is all about very funny Facebook status messages that have been written by real people. You will find here all Funniest Facebook Status that have been written by some people who do not know how to write using proper grammar.

Read the full collection of the funny Facebook status updates and tell us what you think.

I know the world isn’t going to end in 2020 cuz my yogurt expires in 2021!
I like to name my iPod ‘Titanic’ so when it says ‘Syncing Titanic’ i click cancel and it makes me feel like a hero.
Hello, everyone. Look at your status, now back to mine, now back to yours, now back to mine. Sadly, yours isn’t mine. But if you stopped posting about other things and made this your status, yours could be like mine. Look down, back up. Where are you? You’re on Facebook, reading the status your status could be like
Is wondering if you can grow marijuana on Farmville then sell it on Mafia Wars?
I love it when my computer says ” are you sure you want to continue unprotected “
Roses are redish, Violets are blueish, if it weren’t for Christmas, we would all be Jewish!
When someone rings the doorbell, why do dogs always assume it’s for them?
One day your prince will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and too stubborn to ask for directions.
decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire!

I speak my mind. I never mind what I speak.
sometimes, not remembering may be the better.
X says my computer just beat me at chess…but it was no match for me at kickboxing.
X is color blind and trying to solve a Rubiks cube… This could take a while.
X is the girl next door…if you live next door to a whore house.
What is fat, ginger and pregnant? Nothing..
slept like a baby last night…. Waking up every 3 hours crying for food.
wanted to kill the sexiest person alive…But suicide’s a crime.
X is proud of herself. She finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said 2-4 years.
People say that love is in every corner……gosh! maybe I’m moving in circles.
Why is a newspaper ten times more interesting when somebody across the table is reading it?
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.
WARNING: Objects in mirror are fatter than they appear.
║▌║█║▌║▌││║▌║█║▌│║▌║█║▌║▌││║▌║ *ZAP* *BEEP* Price: $7.95
Dear Santa, let me explain…
I think my girlfriend has had sixty-one boyfriends before me. She calls me her sixty-second lover.
My wife said I’m too immature and if I don’t grow up it’s going to erect a barrier between us. Ha ha ha, erect.
If guys had periods, they’d brag about the size of their tampons.
Make love, not war. Hell, do both. Get married.
Marriage is a sort of friendship recognized by the police.
Statistically, 132% of all people exaggerate.
Statistically, 5/4 of people have trouble with fractions.
٩(•̮̮̃•̃)۶ ٩(-̮̮̃-̃)۶ ٩(●̮̮̃•̃)۶ ٩(͡๏̯͡๏)۶ ٩(-̮̮̃•̃)۶
_̴ı̴̴̡̡̡ ̡͌l̡̡̡ ̡͌l̡*̡̡ ̴̡ı̴̴̡ ̡̡͡|̲̲̲͡͡͡ ̲▫̲͡ ̲̲̲͡͡π̲̲͡͡ ̲̲͡▫̲̲͡͡ ̲|̡̡̡ ̡ ̴̡ı̴̡̡ ̡͌l̡̡̡
if only life came with a ◄◄ REW ► PLAY ▌▌PAUSE █▌STOP
scratch here ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ to reveal today’s status.
̿̿̿ ̿’ ̿’̵͇̿̿з=(•̪●)=ε/̵͇̿̿/’̿’̿ ̿ this is a stick-up… give me ALL yo [̲̅$̲̅(̲̅1̲̅)̲̅$̲̅]!
Some people come into our lives & leave footprints on our hearts. Others come into our lives & make us wanna leave footprints on their face.
The only place you find success before work is in the dictionary.
Boys are like baby diapers when they get to be filled with shit they are thrown to be replaced.
I’ve yet to meet a woman who got pregnant from swallowing.
Cut here —————–✄———————-
Me and my wife are inseparable. Sometimes, it takes three or four people to pull us apart.
I speak my mind. I never mind what I speak.
People who write diet books live off the fat of the land.
Dance like no one’s going to put it on YouTube.
Doctors waiting room needs some music. And better lighting. And more women. And a pole in the middle of the room. And a buffet.
Best Friends Listen to what you don’t say.
Just wanted to let you know that you are my BFBFF… Best Facebook Friend Forever.
So many stupid people, and so few asteroids.
X thinks that Facebook is the compost heap for my brain.
Yes, I know how to shut up. I just don’t know when.
You miss 100 percent of the shots u never take.
Me and the gummy bears have a plot to rule the world but shhh its a secret.
I use to be great at wordplay. Once a pun a time.
Sometimes? Late at night? I rearrange traffic signs. People need to be challenged.
I guess if you spoke your mind, you’d be speechless, huh?
X thinks that 100-calorie packs have just enough cookies to piss me off!!
Alcohol does NOT make you fat…it makes you lean…against tables, chairs, walls, floors and ….Ugly people!!!
what has two ears and can’t hear? —————–.> GRANDPA
I’m not a racer….But I can fly.
press the star below and watch it glow 🙂
▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ click star then up arrow to left to reveal status.
I think my neighbor just caught me stealing his Wi-Fi internet.
Teaching your own mother how to use Facebook is like willingly signing your own death warrant.
X is wondering why Facebook bothers to give the option of “liking” my own comment? Of course, I like my own comments. I’m awesome.
Every day, man is making bigger and better fool-proof things, and every day, nature is making bigger and better fools. So far, I think nature is winning.
I swear my pillow could be a hairstylist I always wake up with the weirdest hairdos.
X just received a coupon in the mail: Buy one sock, get one FREE! While socks last.
X believes that if you tell your boss what you really think of him, the truth will set you free.
¡ǝɯıʇ ǝɯɐs ǝɥʇ ʇɐ ʞooqǝɔɐɟ ǝsn puɐ puɐʇspuɐɥ ɐ op ʎןןɐuıɟ uɐɔ
Smile, it’s the second best thing you can do with your lips.
Oh I’m sorry! I didn’t realize you were giving me a dirty look…I just thought you were ugly like that all the time!!
wants to merge MySpace, Facebook, YouTube and Twitter and call it: MY FACE YOU TWIT.
X says don’t look at me in that tone of voice.
Is anyone going to put anything funny on here?????
If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other.
eat eat and eat….but don’t eat my brain.
I married my wife for her looks. But not the ones she’s been giving me lately!
a guy knocked on my door today asking for a donation for the local primary school’s pool. I went away and came back with a cup of water….. Is that wrong?
ʎɐqǝ uo pɹɐoqʎǝʞ ɐ ʎnq ı ǝɯıʇ ʇsɐן ǝɥʇ sı sıɥʇ
All men are born free and equal. If they go and get married, that’s their own fault.
too cool for school.
trying to think of clever things to say after inhaling from a helium balloon.
the kid next door’s imaginary friend.
–^v–^v–^v–^v-_____^v–^v–^v– For a second there, I was bored to death.
definitely not watching what not to wear.
forcing my dog to learn how to google.
kissing a girl and may or may not be liking it.
Got out of jury duty by prefacing every answer with “according to the prophecy”
X is Loading ████████████ 99%
Don’t you find it Funny that after Monday(M) and Tuesday(T), the rest of the week says WTF?
U have 10 fish, 5 drown, 3 come back to Life. How many fish do you have? Stop counting smart one. Fish can’t Drown.
X went to the book store earlier to buy a ‘Where’s Wally’ book. When I got there, I couldn’t find the book anywhere. Well played Wally, well played.
Hi, my name is Damimeve. The ‘mime’ is silent.
I’ve always wondered if film directors wake up screaming “CUT! CUT! CUUUUUT!” when they have nightmares.
In an interview, “I can multitask housework with facebook!”
X is coloring on your wall! ((̲̅ ̲̅(̲̅C̲̅r̲̅a̲̅y̲̅o̲̅l̲̲̅̅a̲̅( ̲̅̅((>
never judges a book by its cover. She uses the paragraph on the back, it tells you what the story is about.
a day late and a dollar short.
Insert coin to view my status message.
If somebody offers you a lifetime supply of candy and there is just one piece, don’t eat it: It’s probably poison.
We have so much in common. You want to travel, I want you to go.
happy that you finally broke up with that slut. Now I can tell you VIA facebook update that I boinked her.
seen pictures of you naked on the internet.
remembers the day when blackberry and apple were just fruit.
> $20 in my bank acct. Drinks on you home.
20/20 hearing!

Boy: So, sex at my place?
Girl: Yah!
Boy: OK, but I sleep in a bunk bed with my younger brother and he thinks we’re making sandwiches so this is the code. Cheese= Faster. Tomato= Harder.
Girl: OK?
~Later~
…Girl: CHEESE CHEESE TOMATO CHEESE!
Brother: Stop making sandwiches! You’re getting mayo all over my bed!

funny facebook status

why do we need school???
music~we have YouTube for that.
Spanish ~I watch Dora.
English ~everything is shortened anyway (brb,idk,lol).
geography~i will buy a globe.
history~they are all dead anyway.
math~that is why we have the calculator.
spelling~we have spell check on the computer.

People make the world go around but at some point don’t you wish it were flat so all the idiots would keep walking and never come back?
NEVER trust a man in a wheelchair with dirty shoes.
I love how, in scary movies, the person yells out, “Hello?” As if the bad guy is gonna be like, “Yeah, I`m in the kitchen! Want a sandwich?”

“how do you spell gay?”
“g.a.y?”
“noooo! j.u.s.t.i.n b.i.e.b.e.r!” (;

what’s the difference between puberty & a water bottle? a water bottle hit Justin Bieber first! (;
Going to McDonalds for salad is like going to a prostitute for a hug.
Roses are Red, Nuts are brown, Skirts go Up, Pants go Down, Body to Body, Skin to Skin, When it is Stiff, Stick it In, The Longer its In, The stronger it Gets, It goes in Dry, Comes out Wet, It comes out dripping,and it starts to Sag, Its not what you Think …its a Teabag xD
Mrs. Bin Laden just updated her Facebook status to single.
Sometimes your Knight in shinning armour is just an idiot wrapped in tinfoil.
We guys have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see us without an erection, make us a sandwich ! 🙂

Me and my mom were shopping for new Cd’s and she asked me..
Mom: honey, Who’s your favorite artist?
Me: Eminem
Mom: The candy?
Me: no the rapper
Mom: What’s so special good about Candy Wrappers?

If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrehea…does that mean one person enjoys it?
status: I can’t log into facebook 🙁
A bug just landed on my computer screen and my first reaction was on try and scare it away with the curser

*BLOND GOES TO THE DOCTOR TO FIND OUT IF SHE IS PREGNANT*
Doctor: your pregnant
Blond: *smiles* 🙂
Doctor: your having twins
Blond: *crys*
Doctor: is’ant that good?
Blond: i dont know who the father is for the other baby
Doctor: LUCKY IM A BRUNETTE !!!!!!!

Did you know in Japan girls keep their phones on vibrate and put them down their crotch? Don’t feel bad if they don’t answer. It means they’re busy 😉 All i want to know is, where can i get a number? 😉
Your make-up looks so pretty:) lol jk it looks like a crayola raped your face!!!
My friends status said, “standing on the edge of a cliff :/”…so i poked him.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought to yourself “Dude, that’s the sperm that won???”
Sometimes i fill up my blow up doll with helium so its playing hard to get.
i know three facts about you, one you can’t say M without your lips touching, two your trying it now and you look like an idiot alien, three now your smiling

Guy: Did It Hurt?
Chick: Did What Hurt?
Guy: When you fell from…
Chick: Heaven Awww :’)
Guy: No, when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down!!
Chick: ……….
Guy: Hahaha BITCH!!

Sorry, Ke$ha the party dont stop till I walk in.
honk if you love Jesus Textwhile driving if you want to meet him.
Last Night I Dreamt I was Eating A Giant Marshmallow……..When I Woke Up My Pillow Was Gone.
How much coke has Charlie Sheen done?……………enough to kill 2 1/2 men….
I love how justin bieber can hit high notes but not puberty!
Roses are red, violets are blue, a face like yours, belongs in the zoo, don’t be mad, i’ll be there, not in the cage, but laughing at you.
Relationships are like Tom & Jerry: They tease each other, knock down each other, irritate each other, but can’t live without each other.
I WISH i could be a status, so you could LIKE me.
I tried to log on to Facebook. It said, “Cookies are required to operate.” I thought to myself, “Me too, Facebook. Me too.”

A divorced man walks over to his ex-wifes new hubby n asked…so how does it feel enjoying 2nd hand goods?..Doesn’t bother me, he responds..actually once u get past the 1st 3 inches, the rest is all brand new.
I wonder what will happen if Steve Jobs dies…. His tombstone may read – iDead…
Got into a fight with my alarm clock this morning it wanted me to wake up i disagreed now the alarms broken and im wide awake…not sure who won.
I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was “You’ll never find anyone like me again!” I’m thinking, “I should hope not! If I don’t want you, why would I want someone like you.
A kid got bad marks in his test, he showed his test to his mom. His mom said ” what is this”? He answered teachers star stickers were finished so she gave me a full moon!!!
Please copy and paste this to your status if you know someone, or have been affected by someone who needs a punch in the face. People who need a punch in the face affect the lives of many. There is still no known cure for someone who deserves a punch in the face, except for a punch in the face. But we can still raise awareness!
One day a chicken crossed the road and met james bond and said whats your name?? ….bond james bond… whats yours??..ken chick ken!
Behind every great woman is a man looking at her ass!
I’d rather Cry over cuts & stitches. not sluts & bitches !
Don’t ever laugh in the bathroom it will make people think ur playing with yourself

1128 COMMENTS

Ayush Singh February 28, 2021 At 2:49 pm

Such a Wonderful Collection..better one.
IYOU Sport Band September 27, 2019 At 2:59 pm

I was in the middle of writing a song with my sister before a saw this blog she looked at me like I was insane because I jumped out of my seat and went over to my laptop. She then just looked over at me an I was typing and said “Are you writing a comment on a blog that was just posted again,” Ten out of ten.
ally January 28, 2014 At 9:53 am

LOL soooo funny laughed till I cried
BL January 24, 2014 At 6:35 pm

wow some of you people need to get a sense of humor…. most of this is funny, especially about that little shit Justin Bieber, that kid is a joke, his music SUCKS ASS…. he needs to go to jail for a little while and play with the big boys there, they will put the little shit in his place, LOL…for those of you that probably didn’t find any of these funny, your probably single because you lead a very sad life, you have probably never cracked a smile… this is some funny ass shit….
SwagginSniper35 April 24, 2013 At 4:50 am

Haha good ones
lysa March 25, 2013 At 11:21 pm

“What has two ears and can’t hear? Grandpa.” Hahahahaha!!!! I laugh a lot to this joke because i’m thinking of my late grandpa
Darren February 16, 2013 At 5:14 pm

Good one about the sandwiches.
CHEESE CHEESE TOMATO CHEESE…..
STOP YOU’RE GETTING MAYO ALL OVER THE BED 🙂
Brittany February 6, 2013 At 10:39 am

Lol love all the Justin Bieber jokes
emily February 4, 2013 At 2:56 am

im gonna be the awesomest grandma ever lolz 2013 teeens r the best lolz (:
kz February 1, 2013 At 12:50 am

laughed so hard bout the apple n blackberry fruit one 😀 i think i dyed for a second :p <3
kay January 18, 2013 At 7:50 am

I love this site 🙂
kooooooko January 15, 2013 At 8:08 pm

a boy went to sleep and snored !!!!! hahhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh
this is a true story
Felicia Mathis January 14, 2013 At 7:41 pm

haha…
Felicia Mathis January 14, 2013 At 7:39 pm

When I have kids I’m going to make them watch the movie “2012” and tell them I survived that.
Smokey January 13, 2013 At 1:07 am

I love this page!
Joshua B January 7, 2013 At 4:19 am

Another good one I’ve seen: “The truth is, I find it very stressful that Smokey thinks I’m the only one who can prevent forest fires. I mean, I don’t feel trained for this and I don’t remember even signing up for the position.”
Habsex January 2, 2013 At 5:25 am

I <3 the ones about sex cheese. Tomato
Dale Brown January 1, 2013 At 1:58 am

Tell you like the Bathtub told the Toilet stool,I get as much Ass as you,but I dont have to take all of that shit…lol..
DALE BROWN January 1, 2013 At 1:54 am

Tell you like the Bathtub told the Toilet stool,I get as much ass as you,but I dont have to put up with all of that shit…lol..
SWAG December 26, 2012 At 8:26 am

oll guds…..
Airy Oglesby December 23, 2012 At 2:45 am

My favorite one was about eating the giant marshmallow, and waking up to find your pillow gone.
cody December 5, 2012 At 9:24 pm

ahahah theas status are too funny 😛
Tboy MC November 29, 2012 At 4:59 am

Spot on with this write-up, I truly think this site
needs a lot more attention. I’ll probably be returning to see more, thanks for the info!
Anand November 23, 2012 At 1:31 am

Fab …………….!!
arbie143 November 17, 2012 At 3:42 am

So were funny, some were REALLY funny, some were just boring and some were just sshhhittttt!!!
Lance November 15, 2012 At 12:46 pm

I just created a new app and it’s approved by appolo…its called iDontCare!!!
rimmy November 6, 2012 At 8:50 pm

not up to mark
Kingsley Charles November 4, 2012 At 11:29 pm

Oh oh oh i have 1, Steve Jobs’s Wife just updated her facebook status to iSingle…lol
Doggie October 30, 2012 At 7:07 pm

Its hilarious indeed
spartan11679 October 30, 2012 At 3:55 am

justin bieber has too reached puberty, these jokes have got to go!
spartan11679 October 30, 2012 At 3:42 am

The Justin Bieber jokes are not funny. He is not gay and he does have “male parts”
spartan11679 October 30, 2012 At 3:41 am

The one about the Snickers bar and Justin Bieber isn’t funny. Of course he has a male anatomy, he is a male 🙂
alexandra October 25, 2012 At 2:33 am

Cheese,cheese,tomato,cheese!!!!!!!! LoL
Sankalp October 18, 2012 At 6:02 pm

It’s really amazing!!
Emma October 18, 2012 At 4:29 am

None of this was funny.
It was crappy grammar and punctuation also.
AHMED October 13, 2012 At 2:20 pm

EEFGYW5H6REDHITJIRJTU
jamal muhammed October 11, 2012 At 3:28 pm

dis ‘s the best ding i ‘ve eva read ……………………………………..
linda October 7, 2012 At 5:57 pm

lmao ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ooh…
linda October 7, 2012 At 5:54 pm

lmao ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ooh
Lalalal Lyn September 23, 2012 At 10:43 am

hahaha this is so funny i post as my status
Tyler August 28, 2012 At 10:36 pm

These are seriously funny. If u wanna see more funny fb statuses go to funnystatus.com.
Cijo Cyril August 23, 2012 At 1:46 am

cooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool !!!!!!!!!!!
nina August 11, 2012 At 8:11 pm

lol,
lolololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololooololololllololololololololol
yashu August 5, 2012 At 11:08 pm

very nice ………….. :-):-):-)
yashu August 5, 2012 At 11:06 pm

very nice :-o:-o:-o
Amy Doppeee August 3, 2012 At 6:55 am

It wasn’t that funny… -__-
cellou July 24, 2012 At 4:50 pm

Hahahahahhahaha! i posted it on my wall! wajajjajajaj
LALA July 9, 2012 At 5:23 pm

BAHAHAH funny as hell!! <3
•CheZz• July 5, 2012 At 3:58 pm

You Americans…
•CheZz• July 5, 2012 At 3:56 pm

You americans are soo weird lol
Lorro July 3, 2012 At 2:09 pm

Slept like log last night,, woke up in the fireplace
JRMEX July 3, 2012 At 12:31 am

A stupid man tells a girl to shut up. A smart man tells a girl she looks preety when her mouth is closed.

That awkward moment when Pinocchio and Voldemort meet.

Who ever says words can’t hurt you has never got hit in the face with a dictionary!
nia July 2, 2012 At 4:31 am

Haha Funny
saharish jamal June 29, 2012 At 3:13 pm

hmmmmmmmmmm very very niceeeeeeee
April-Christine June 24, 2012 At 10:11 pm

This stuff really made me laugh. lmfao need to read some more 🙂
Super June 23, 2012 At 3:57 am

Well, the last one was funny. Other than that, they were all immature and you obviously cannot spell for shit.
TNiika_15 June 21, 2012 At 5:02 pm

Haha THis is Fwannyy AF’
When life gives you lemons June 21, 2012 At 8:31 am

Brooo’skiii’sss thiss shitt,wasnt even close to funny norr KOOOOO lolololol. Thenn its was like i wasted 10mins reading this lololol ?!??? Justkidding these aree funnyyyy AF like legit lololol-sheila-•
hotshit101bitches June 19, 2012 At 4:48 am

that shit made me and my boyfriend laugh we love having sex and reading this shit
Tesiapettee June 13, 2012 At 5:03 am

hahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahhahahhahahaha. oh shit that was funny.
Amy June 10, 2012 At 6:41 pm

these r so funny
yomomma June 7, 2012 At 5:13 am

Where do you keep all of that tomato sauce?
Alyssa Yaawhitegurl Moore June 5, 2012 At 8:26 pm

learn to spell
Alyssa Yaawhitegurl Moore June 5, 2012 At 8:26 pm

learn 2 spell!! HOE:P
Ajinkkz June 5, 2012 At 6:52 pm

lol…..
Surajthegreatkhali June 4, 2012 At 10:07 am

☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆ ░░░█▀█░█▀▄░█▀▄░░░░█▀▄▀█░█▀▀░░░█░
░░░█▀█░█░█░█░█░░░░█░░░█░█▀░░░░▀░ ░░░█░█░█▄▀░█▄▀░░░░█░░░█░█▄▄░░░▄░
☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆
Stella June 3, 2012 At 11:52 pm

One of mine is on there… neet!
Stella June 3, 2012 At 11:52 pm

nice to see one of mine is on there.
Carmen June 1, 2012 At 4:18 am

☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆ ░░░█▀█░█▀▄░█▀▄░░░░█▀▄▀█░█▀▀░░░█░ ░░░█▀█░█░█░█░█░░░░█░░░█░█▀░░░░▀░ ░░░█░█░█▄▀░█▄▀░░░░█░░░█░█▄▄░░░▄░ ☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆
Diamond Shavers May 31, 2012 At 11:44 pm

these are so funny
joraxx May 30, 2012 At 10:34 am

it takes 1 1/2 hour reading all of this!! is soo funny i cant concentrate here doing my job!! hahaha lol!! like dis page!! hehe
Justinsmith@live.com May 29, 2012 At 9:29 pm

so u are the hoe that told the how that i am a hoe well lesson hoe it takes a hoe 2 know a hoe hoe !!
Lukedson May 26, 2012 At 9:46 pm

That is rubbish
Bryan May 26, 2012 At 2:39 am

My friends status said, “standing on the edge of a cliff :/”…so i poked him.
Gnawgahyde May 24, 2012 At 12:22 am

Try putting this on your status if you want your friends to get a laugh.

Dear Pfizer. Thank you very much for being so concerned that you warn us at the end of every Viagra commercial , but, I have already compiled a list of people I will call if I have an erection that last more than 4 hours, however my Dr. did not make the list!
Malachi May 22, 2012 At 8:39 am

4,765,963 people got married last year….Shouldn’t that be and even number?
Mashish2008 May 21, 2012 At 9:00 pm

good one ….
regards ashish
Sasha ;) May 21, 2012 At 2:15 pm

WTF!? haha
MiAcAt May 19, 2012 At 6:03 pm

Can I get 69 likes on this. Sorry, I just need something to match my full-time job. 🙂
Jameswait47 May 16, 2012 At 8:24 am

Id kick you in the vagina if I knew I wouldn’t loose my shoe
Deviant May 9, 2012 At 12:58 pm

that means ur old too…just playing ..i get it
Brantheman2011 May 8, 2012 At 1:01 am

Treat her like a princess, fuck her like a pornstar 😀
Sum Supid Azz Shit :P May 7, 2012 At 12:35 am

there iz younger ppl reading this
holachicka April 29, 2012 At 12:50 pm

I had my friends phone the other day, I changed my contact name to GOD. so whenever I called her phone, it said…’GOD is calling’
psherman April 29, 2012 At 12:45 pm

sometimes late at night, when everyone else is sleeping. I fill my bath with tomato sauce, submerge myself completely, pretending i’m a meatball
tunechi April 29, 2012 At 1:39 am

lol i just got like 1 like or 2 lol
Xionblaze April 28, 2012 At 7:37 pm

i didnt :/
Roottaylor April 28, 2012 At 7:41 am

I just spent like an hour and a half reading all these.. & my grandma was watching tv & got mad cuz i just HAD to read all them to her during her movieee. haha. 🙂
Roottaylor April 28, 2012 At 7:39 am

this has 69 likes, haha. hell yeah. 🙂
Katrinacasillas29 April 27, 2012 At 10:05 am

who goes to macdonolds
Katrinacasillas29 April 27, 2012 At 9:56 am

hahahahaaha omg thats really funny
Katrinacasillas29 April 27, 2012 At 9:50 am

Eww wtf who would say tat

loke ugh what if there is younger people reading thiz
Katrinacasillas29 April 27, 2012 At 9:43 am

hahaha lol thatz funny
D-clark-123 April 20, 2012 At 5:25 pm

The cost of a Princess dinner at Disney is the equivalent of an hour in Champagne room. What would you choose?
Stephenbz April 18, 2012 At 11:30 pm

If I tell you your ass looks fat will you stop asking?
Lauryncreel April 14, 2012 At 2:33 am

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.
mina kumari April 13, 2012 At 11:06 pm

Don’t feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.
Dustinwilkinson007 April 13, 2012 At 12:06 pm

who wonts to get drunk and crash an aa meeting?
マニュエルミツキー April 12, 2012 At 1:49 am

magbasa neto tanga.
Tliyaht April 11, 2012 At 3:49 am

its still funny … i bet you take others statuses and use them as your own ( :
Justycegurule April 4, 2012 At 7:27 am

A man asked a fairy to make him desirable and irresistable to all women. So she turned him into a credit card.
Thsitseg April 4, 2012 At 2:00 am

(:
Mannee98 Hm March 30, 2012 At 11:55 am

a guy walks past his bosses office and heard him say” up and down ohh you fell so good” guy thinks he must do something to stop this so he barges in ready to yell at his boss only to realise he was playing with his new office chair
Alisha Lovell March 23, 2012 At 4:37 am

some gud…. but soo not the Justin Bieber’s ones… have some respect guys… but he kinda luk gay though but dnt put him down so low… have a heart…
sasha March 22, 2012 At 2:37 am

this iz the funnies webste ever!!!!looooooooooooooooooooved it
Mzwandile March 21, 2012 At 8:38 pm

hahahahahhahahha
Melanie-Jordan March 17, 2012 At 1:37 pm

I hate the JUSTIN BIEBER one’s ’cause it’s really mean to US BELIEBER’S it get’s old after while. Make fun of someone you know personally not someone who’s famous and you have never met. I have met Justin and he is the nicest, sweetest and most down to earth guy I have ever met in my life! His family are lucky to have him and so are his friends. I wish I knew him before fame ’cause I would have loved to be his friend. I love Justin Bieber with all my heart and there’s nothing people can say that will change my mind about him. I have loved him since the first YouTube video and will continue to love him forever after his last video (not that, that will EVER happen!!!)
jack March 17, 2012 At 9:11 am

MOREEE JUSTIN BEIBER SHITTT 🙂
adhien March 16, 2012 At 2:06 am

hei ..hei..hei
ThereMightHaveBeenATimeWhenIDidn'tGiveDamn March 15, 2012 At 1:57 am

Some are funny but some are kinda offensive. I really don’t like the ones that make fun of Justin Beiber. I don’t really like his music, but it’s mean to make fun of him.
David tennants mum March 5, 2012 At 4:34 am

BLIUUUUGGGHHHHHAAAAA
David tennants mum March 5, 2012 At 4:32 am

AAABLAAAUUUUGGGGHHHHHH!
I EATED YOUR BABEEZ!!!
AAABLAAAUUUUGGGGHHHHHH!
Micre Nick March 4, 2012 At 2:21 am

Don’t marry for looks; it will disappoint.
Trey Postma March 3, 2012 At 9:55 pm

Poop
Your a douche bagg March 1, 2012 At 5:43 am

These are really………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………lame -_-
Bhavesh Sondagar February 26, 2012 At 6:41 pm

Very funny 😀
Liked that!!
Farzana February 26, 2012 At 5:21 pm

You should try and eat make-up, It’ll make you pretty inside BITCH!
Michael abstance February 26, 2012 At 7:43 am

Everything is made in china , except babies, theyre made vachina c;
jojo February 25, 2012 At 3:06 am

these are funnnyyyy luv the one bout the “making sandwiches”… mayo ahahah
Marixsa February 21, 2012 At 11:28 pm

Some of these are gaay a’f -___________-
Emily February 8, 2012 At 9:16 am

thanks for the clues
Missi February 2, 2012 At 10:36 pm

Too many cmoplnimets too little space, thanks!
Cerao January 31, 2012 At 11:17 pm

Hello just wanted to give you a quick heads up and let you know a few of the pictures aren’t loading properly. I’m not sure why but I think its a linking issue. I’ve tried it in two different web browsers and both show the same outcome.
Veronica Veasey January 29, 2012 At 5:54 pm

Very good blog. Much obliged.
hannah January 23, 2012 At 1:44 am

lkajdf;akusdf
The-One-U-Want-2-Meet January 16, 2012 At 2:43 am

-you dnt kneed to kno-
Mario is Portuguese not Italian 😉
vianka January 10, 2012 At 4:34 am

i liked them, but not funny about the justin bieber ones!! not cool
Reem! January 8, 2012 At 3:53 am

These stautsa are good because i put them as my stayts in5 seconds 7 likes wooppwoopp BUZZIN but some and shockingly bad:)
URMOM January 6, 2012 At 5:44 am

funny stuff LOl
HeyThere December 22, 2011 At 10:35 am

some of thess statuses are stupid and gaaaaaaaaaaay.-_-
harley December 22, 2011 At 6:17 am

remember dont go down there……….
babe December 21, 2011 At 3:21 am

a preist and a buddist are making toast when the priest shouts theres an image of jesus on my toast then the buddist shout i cant belevie its not buddah lol <3
LUCERO December 20, 2011 At 10:46 pm

LMAO:D
Lucero December 20, 2011 At 10:45 pm

lamo:D
Nevaeh December 19, 2011 At 2:18 am

rumors, well atleast for once your spreading somethings besides your legs!
Kaitlyn! December 17, 2011 At 3:21 am

I Love these hahahaaa! 🙂 hmu on Facebook! im wearing a Indiana Hoodieeee! 🙂
Nicole December 16, 2011 At 4:04 am

Hahahaahahah!!;DD Fat Mexican Unicorn<3
Amber Coltrin December 15, 2011 At 9:16 am

Theese are hilarious 😛
suck my **** December 14, 2011 At 8:10 am

ROTFLMFAO
Jasmine December 14, 2011 At 5:35 am

hi
geraldinoe December 13, 2011 At 6:27 pm

funny hey i dnt think my fb wall is gonna survive!!
Clarissa December 12, 2011 At 6:14 am

Hahah,I love the one’s about Justin Bieber.
sherneil changoo December 11, 2011 At 3:15 am

these are so funny 🙂
Paige Nicole December 10, 2011 At 7:49 am

Twinkle Twinkle Little Whore This is School Not Jersey Shore So Take Off All Those Slutty Clothes Dress Like Normal Not Like Hoes …….. I say this all the time at school ……….. and lol I LOVE Jersey Shore
cloud pink December 10, 2011 At 4:15 am

i really like these statu’s <3 j'aime
Esmeralda December 8, 2011 At 6:55 am

Haha Love These <3
Nautica December 8, 2011 At 6:30 am

THESE R SICK!
The mighty hercules December 7, 2011 At 5:01 pm

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH yes my fellow peasants i see you have taken somethings from me, im proud to call you all my people. Now wheres my bitch carlos to rub my toes…with ketchup
raiden December 6, 2011 At 1:22 pm

the one about steve jobs isnt even funny anymore lol
Kiarra December 6, 2011 At 9:01 am

I like these status’s .
you like to eat my caca December 5, 2011 At 10:08 am

caca maca loco moco MEXICAN REPRESENT
you like to eat my caca December 5, 2011 At 10:04 am

i like caca maca loco moco MEX I CAN REPPRETSENT
skeet December 5, 2011 At 7:18 am

who is up for the ultimate dare of walking around a water park with a four hour erection for the whole day?
aliyah December 4, 2011 At 7:49 am

Freakin Funny i love the ladder ! Well fuck u!
mackenzie December 4, 2011 At 6:55 am

My wife said I haven’t took her anything expensive , So I took her to the gas station
JJ December 3, 2011 At 8:36 pm

How come Facebook’s spell checker flags Facebook as spelled wrong?
Becca December 3, 2011 At 4:36 am

wants to merge MySpace, Facebook, YouTube and Twitter and call it: MY FACE YOU TWIT.
-you dnt kneed to kno- December 2, 2011 At 12:02 am

heheheheheheheh!!!!very fonny ppl!;D i like..very much..
MARIO::an italian plumer, who was made by japanese people,who speaks english, but look like a mexican>;P
miro maro December 1, 2011 At 7:05 pm

very faunny add me onn my mail okk ddt-90 @hotmail.com
Lilly Lilly November 30, 2011 At 11:27 pm

Don’t go down there.
╬═╬
╬═╬
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╬═╬I’m telling you- don’t go.
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╬═╬Are you listening to me? Don’t!
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╬═╬Hellooo… don’t go.
╬═╬
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╬═╬You… you don’t go.
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╬═╬You’re still not listening to me.
╬═╬
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╬═╬I can’t talk to you anymore.
╬═╬
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╬═╬You listen to me… don’t go down there!
╬═╬
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╬═╬Can’t you just listen to me?
╬═╬
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╬═╬Okay, you are starting to drive me crazy…
╬═╬
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╬═╬ You are!
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╬═╬ Are you bored yet?
╬═╬
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╬═╬Last chance… don’t go down there.
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Rebekkah November 30, 2011 At 7:26 am

OH my gosh funny!!!
william November 29, 2011 At 1:24 pm

why do we need school???
music~we have YouTube for that.
Spanish ~i watch Dora.
English ~everything is shortened anyway (brb,idk,lol).
geography~i will buy a globe.
history~they are all dead anyway.
math~that is why we have the calculator.
spelling~we have spell check on the computer.
Sophia November 29, 2011 At 6:17 am

We’re all mature until somebody brings out the bubble-wrap :3
Nessa November 28, 2011 At 3:22 pm

ILove thesee theyre AWESOMEEE!!
;D ;D 😀 ;D ;P
Nessa November 28, 2011 At 3:21 pm

omg guess what?!
i got a job…
at a mental hospital but they said i need 24hrs with a mental retard want to come ova i hav crayons ;D
vanessa November 28, 2011 At 3:16 pm

two sisters owned a farm one blonde one brunette
BRUNETTE: we need to go buy a bull. I will go into town and buy the bull then ill send a telegram so you can come help me bring it back.
—–so brunette goes into town———-
BRUNETTE: how much is it to buy the bull?
BULL LADY: $50 cheapest price you will find
BRUNETTE: I only have that much but ok
—–brunette buys the bull———
BRUNETTE: how much is it to send a telegram?
SHOP LADY: $5
BRUNETTE: oh but i dont have any money
SHOP LADY: ok i will let you send one word for free what do you want to send?
BRUNETTE: send the word comfortable
SHOP LADY: Why comfortable?
BRUNETTE: Because my sisters a blonde and she will read it as come-for-the-bull
coda November 26, 2011 At 5:17 am

Statistics say that 1 in 4 people are insane, so take a look at your 3 best friends and if they are all OK, its you!
Kaycee November 23, 2011 At 9:11 am

lmfao,this joke has stuck with me for years….
there was once a blond fed up with everyones shit, so she decided to hang herself, the next day two guys saw her hanging by her wrists…
guys: what r u doing?
blond:hanging myself
guys: ur supposed to put it around your neck
blond: duh i tried that, i couldn’t breath
minhaz November 21, 2011 At 9:16 am

٩(•̮̮̃•̃)۶ ٩(-̮̮̃-̃)۶ ٩(●̮̮̃•̃)۶ ٩(͡๏̯͡๏)۶ ٩(-̮̮̃•̃)۶_̴ı̴̴̡̡̡ ̡͌l̡̡̡ ̡͌l̡*̡̡ ̴̡ı̴̴̡ ̡̡͡|̲̲̲͡͡͡ ̲▫̲͡ ̲̲̲͡͡π̲̲͡͡ ̲̲͡▫̲̲͡͡ ̲|̡̡̡ ̡ ̴̡ı̴̡̡ ̡͌l̡̡̡if only life came with a ◄◄ REW ► PLAY ▌▌PAUSE █▌STOP
minhaz November 21, 2011 At 9:15 am

this the to chesin a fuck girl……………….//////////////
PuruShoth November 20, 2011 At 10:59 pm

If, all men are dogs…I guess dat just makes all women pussy cats..?
stasie November 20, 2011 At 9:34 pm

bitches r da reasons y jusstin bieber dosent hit purberdy b/c he suk balls play wit balls but dnt hav dem but wat about his penis do he hav dat or duz he hav a fake PUSSY 2 finger every day wen he goes on tour
SteveJobs November 20, 2011 At 10:49 am

hey its not iDead! F U !
LowVyna Tenderjwjwgkey November 17, 2011 At 4:23 pm

really2 entertaining!
Jang Agok November 16, 2011 At 4:15 pm

You whats funny? Obamas ears ladis think he’s cute ahahah okay, i think he’s not it’s coZ HE’S 50 AND FIT THATS ALL I MEAN HE CAN FUCKING DO IT admite it bitch lol
Randyman November 16, 2011 At 1:32 pm

Assholes and opinions everybody has one and yours stink
mike November 15, 2011 At 10:09 pm

lol
very funny
add those also
In life, it’s not who you know that’s important, it’s how your wife found out.

***
A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.
blaha ramondon November 15, 2011 At 5:37 am

yo yo yo. best joke evar:

hey guys i have a cool status i wanna share with u. kk? all you have 2 do is click the see more button. (type in below @seemore and click the first link that pops up. troll ;D0
blah Losers
Midnight Princess November 14, 2011 At 5:51 am

Hahaha 🙂
Midnight Princess November 14, 2011 At 5:49 am

Lol, these made my daaayyy 🙂 love humor.. <3
ashley November 14, 2011 At 4:23 am

‎9966699999966699999966699966669996699999996699666996699 9966999999996999999996666996699666699666996699666996699 9966699999999999999966666699996666699666996699666996699 9966666999999999999666666669966666699666996699666996699 9966666669999999966666666669966666699666996699666996699 9966666666699996666666666669966666699666996699666996666 996666666666996666666666666996666669999999669999…9996699

1) Highlight The Numbers
2) Press Ctrl and F
3) Press 9 & see what’s highlighted (:
nategr8 November 14, 2011 At 2:14 am

Click Ctrl+W to view my status.
XxSnowiee November 11, 2011 At 5:15 pm

Lol This Website Is Freaken Funny ! 🙂
JaNe November 11, 2011 At 9:06 am

Hahahaha Lol This Is Funny Shit!
Dudet November 11, 2011 At 4:28 am

Seriously? This message isn’t loading. So you can’t see what I think of all this. Too bad.

Loading ████████████ 99%………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………Ha! you just wasted 10 seconds of your life just to wait for the words u r reading to load. Wow. ur smart. lol! funny jokes. u still wasted 10 seconds.
Brittney November 10, 2011 At 5:45 am

These are really funny i use them for my statuses on facebook.
MOLLY!!:) November 10, 2011 At 1:28 am

hahahahhaha these are hella funnay!
babysugarrubabooty November 9, 2011 At 7:15 am

a blond nd brunet are wlk nd the brunet says look a dead bird the blond looks up and says where where…smh :/
MichaelBowman November 9, 2011 At 6:31 am

JUST BECAUSE I LIKE YOUR STATUS DOSE NOT MEAN ITS AN INVATATION TO TLK… IF I WANTED TO TLK ALL NIGHT WITH YOUR CRAZY ASS ID MESSAGE YOU FIRST lol
Diana Prince November 8, 2011 At 5:07 pm

OMG, I am reading through this page and i just cannot stop laughing! i literally now have stitches on my sides! LOL! 😀
شهد November 8, 2011 At 4:07 am

hello every one
شهد November 8, 2011 At 4:04 am

هلا و الله
shelby November 6, 2011 At 6:37 pm

i frikkin love these!!
gangstar November 6, 2011 At 4:52 am

this is jokes is there any more
99problems November 4, 2011 At 2:48 pm

Girls keep saying ‘all men r dogs’
In reply to them, i keep saying ‘yes, we are. U bitches..!!!’
kaisha November 4, 2011 At 5:13 am

-;#, i love my boy.<3
brittaanny November 4, 2011 At 2:10 am

“to a guy your like a game , there so into you, then the play you like the games over .”
Kelsey November 3, 2011 At 5:16 am

the other day i wise man said, why are you fat?
i said you arent very wise if you dont know the answer to that, its obviously because i eat alot.
wise man says ” oh yeah sorry. “
gangstar November 2, 2011 At 11:29 pm

lmfao
Gracie November 2, 2011 At 2:22 am

what do you call a dog with no legs?
don’t matter what you call him! he aint gonna come!
iTzMeOnFacebook October 29, 2011 At 7:52 am

Boy: Its Over….
Girl: What?? WTF did i dooo??? It dont matter i already slept with 3 of your friendss!
Boy: I Was Talking About The Movie.
Girl: ……….
Boy: BITCHHHH.
Tyler October 28, 2011 At 6:04 am

Hey, Jay Murphy, that was pretty good lol. 🙂
PERSON October 28, 2011 At 5:40 am

OMFG ……I SEEEEEEEEE….
GHOSTS AND PEROPLEEEJFH IM HHHIGH IN THE SKY!
sexy princess October 27, 2011 At 2:12 pm

just soo boring..!!!!!
Saif October 26, 2011 At 1:43 pm

laughing is d most funniest thing 2 do…..!!!
Shelbert October 26, 2011 At 9:54 am

If a Police Officer says, Anything you say will be taken down & used as evidence… Your answer should always be, Please don’t hit me again officer…
Mikaela3214 October 25, 2011 At 4:41 am

I love these!(:
Kimberly October 24, 2011 At 1:54 pm

LOVE it , its funny =]
shawdie on'top October 23, 2011 At 12:19 pm

it was stupid to make jokes about justin bieber..but the rest was funny and maybe steve died after he seen this!(im definetly using some of these on facebook!
THEHOTTIE October 22, 2011 At 6:20 am

I LOVE THIS SHIT
ITS THE BEST 🙂
laila October 21, 2011 At 11:20 am

none of these are even remotely good.
zooworld October 21, 2011 At 4:34 am

laughing is the most funniest thing to do. 🙂
Belu October 21, 2011 At 2:54 am

As if talkin to my wall is bad enuff…i have to type it on my facebook wall too.
nolifebuthappy October 21, 2011 At 12:21 am

I just LOL’d at “iReckon”
ps. the iDead was quite funny despite the actual passing of Steve Jobs 🙂
mike October 19, 2011 At 8:49 pm

many many thanks for this
i will put all these on my facebook
Nanananananana October 19, 2011 At 5:47 pm

K……..myb lyk 5 out all of em wer gud….n sum of the 1’s ppl commentd wer funny….but i dnt thnk they’r ol thtK……..myb lyk 5 out all of em wer gud….n sum of the 1’s ppl commentd wer funny….but i dnt thnk they’r ol thtK……..myb lyk 5 out all of em wer gud….n sum of the 1’s ppl commentd wer funny….but i dnt thnk they’r ol thtK……..myb lyk 5 out all of em wer gud….n sum of the 1’s ppl commentd wer funny….but i dnt thnk they’r ol tht……n wats wit hating sarah…..jealous much……..i bet u dnt cum up wit ur own original stuf coz if u did…y did u cum 2 this website…xoxo
Harry potter October 19, 2011 At 2:56 am

Steve jobs is already dead:/
kinkela October 18, 2011 At 12:19 pm

haters gon’ hate
Gertrude Snufflufugus October 17, 2011 At 8:54 am

i have no mind thats why i searched this in the first place… O__O
Emma October 17, 2011 At 12:45 am

Steve Jobs is dead, you idiot; it was all over the news!
Sleazy October 16, 2011 At 11:56 pm

Oh shyt this is so fucking funny
Visi October 16, 2011 At 12:28 am

GOD = Great Omnipotent Dude
Amy McGinnis October 15, 2011 At 11:10 pm

Guys, I thought I would make things a little easier for you. This is the code for the perfect female orgasm:→ ☐✕R2↓▲R1↑◯←.
Amy McGinnis October 15, 2011 At 11:09 pm

This perv just asked me if I was “naked and horny”, I told him I was “dressed and menstratng”…Hopefully I got my point across.
sexy biatch ;-) x October 15, 2011 At 2:31 pm

rubbish -.- these are for old people x
sexy biatch ;-) x October 15, 2011 At 2:28 pm

this stuff is kinda shit guys x
barbie ken October 15, 2011 At 9:42 am

AHHHH funny
barbie ken October 15, 2011 At 9:40 am

dad: money doesnt grow on trees!!
me: money is made of paper.. paper grows on trees.
dad: money is made of cotton.
me: that grows on trees too!!!!!! :/
mike October 14, 2011 At 11:50 pm

hahahahahhahaha

lol most of them are adorable but some are crappy but really its a nice one .
jay murphy October 14, 2011 At 7:07 pm

Facebook, Slagbook, meet just to Shagbook, sneaking about but then ya get caughtbook. Guiltbook, Shamebook, not ya real Namebook, in ya photos ya gorgeous but really yr a Mongbook! Prankbook, Skankbook what a fuckin Crankbook. Its gettin pretty scary cos its turning into Wankbook. Textbook, Sexbook, spying on your Exbook, someone ‘likes’ her photo and ya turn into a Pestbook! Scrapbook, Papbook catch the fuckin Clapbook, grab ya shitty iphone and add the shitty Appbook. Shitebook, Strifebook get a fucking Lifebook! Watch it if ya married cos they’ll nick ya fuckin Wifebook! Creepbook, Peepbook when ya take a Leakbook! Yal even be Facebooking in ya fuckin Sleepbook
Ritu October 14, 2011 At 8:31 am

Awesome stuff, really appreciable, searching for that from long time
obie.1.conobie October 14, 2011 At 2:28 am

■decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire!
■One day your prince will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and too stubborn to ask for directions.
■When someone rings the doorbell, why do dogs always assume it’s for them?
■I speak my mind. I never mind what I speak.
■sometimes, not remembering mey be the better.
■X says my computer just beat me at chess…but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
■X is color blind and trying to solve a rubiks cube… This could take a while.
■X is the girl next door…if you live next door to a whore house.
■What is fat, ginger and pregnant? Nothing..
■slept like a baby last night…. Waking up every 3 hours crying for food.
■wanted to kill the sexiest person alive…But suicide’s a crime.
■X is proud of herself. She finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said 2-4 years.
■People say that love is in every corner……gosh! maybe i’m moving in circles..
■Why is a newspaper ten times more interesting when somebody across the table is reading it?
■Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.
■WARNING: Objects in mirror are fatter than they appear.
■║▌║█║▌║▌││║▌║█║▌│║▌║█║▌║▌││║▌║ *ZAP* *BEEP* Price: $7.95
■Dear Santa, let me explain…
■I think my girlfriend has had sixty-one boyfriends before me. She calls me her sixty second lover.
■My wife said I’m too immature and if I don’t grow up it’s going to erect a barrier between us. Ha ha ha, erect.
■If guys had periods, they’d brag about the size of their tampons.
■Make love, not war. Hell, do both. Get married.
■Marriage is a sort of friendship recognized by the police.
■Statistically, 132% of all people exaggerate.
■Statistically 5/4 of people have trouble with fractions.
■٩(•̮̮̃•̃)۶ ٩(-̮̮̃-̃)۶ ٩(●̮̮̃•̃)۶ ٩(͡๏̯͡๏)۶ ٩(-̮̮̃•̃)۶
■_̴ı̴̴̡̡̡ ̡͌l̡̡̡ ̡͌l̡*̡̡ ̴̡ı̴̴̡ ̡̡͡|̲̲̲͡͡͡ ̲▫̲͡ ̲̲̲͡͡π̲̲͡͡ ̲̲͡▫̲̲͡͡ ̲|̡̡̡ ̡ ̴̡ı̴̡̡ ̡͌l̡̡̡
■if only life came with a ◄◄ REW ► PLAY ▌▌PAUSE █▌STOP
■scratch here ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ to reveal today’s status.
■̿̿̿ ̿’ ̿’̵͇̿̿з=(•̪●)=ε/̵͇̿̿/’̿’̿ ̿ this is a stick-up… give me ALL yo [̲̅$̲̅(̲̅1̲̅)̲̅$̲̅]!
■Some people come into our lives & leave footprints on our hearts. Others come into our lives & make us wanna leave footprints on their face.
■The only place you find success before work is in the dictionary.
■Boys are like baby diapers when they get to be filled with shit they are thrown to be replaced.
■i’ve yet to meet a woman who got pregnant from swallowing.
■Cut here —————–✄———————-
■Me and my wife are inseparable. Sometimes, it takes three or four people to pull us apart.
■I speak my mind. I never mind what I speak.
■People who write diet books live off the fat of the land.
■Dance like no one’s going to put it on YouTube.
■Doctors waiting room needs some music. And better lighting. And more women. And a pole in the middle of the room. And a buffet.
■Best Friends Listen to what you dont say.
■Just wanted to let you know that you are my BFBFF… Best Facebook Friend Forever..
■So many stupid people, and so few asteroids.
■X thinks that Facebook is the compost heap for my brain.
■Yes, I know how to shut up. I just don’t know when.
■You miss 100 percent of the shots u never take.
■Me and the gummy bears have a plot to rule the world but shhhhh its a secret.
■I use to be great at wordplay. Once a pun a time.
■Sometimes? Late at night? I rearrange traffic signs. People need to be challenged.
■I guess if you spoke your mind, you’d be speechless, huh?
■X thinks that 100-calorie packs have just enough cookies to piss me off!!
■Alcohol does NOT make you fat…it makes you lean…against tables,chairs,walls, floors and ….Ugly people!!!
■what has two ears and cant hear? —————–.> GRANDPA
■I’m not a racer….But i can fly.
■press the star below and watch it glow
■▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ click star then up arrow to left to reveal status.
■I thinks my neighbor just caught me stealing his Wi-Fi internet.
■Teaching your own mother how to use Facebook is like willingly signing your own death warrant.
■X is wondering why Facebook bothers to give the option of “liking” my own comment? Of course I like my own comments. I’m awesome..
■Every day, man is making bigger and better fool-proof things, and every day, nature is making bigger and better fools. So far, I think nature is winning.
■I swear my pillow could be a hairstylist I always wake up with the wierdest hairdos.
■X just received a coupon in the mail: Buy one sock, get one FREE! While socks last.
■X believes that if you tell your boss what you really think of him, the truth will set you free.
■¡ǝɯıʇ ǝɯɐs ǝɥʇ ʇɐ ʞooqǝɔɐɟ ǝsn puɐ puɐʇspuɐɥ ɐ op ʎןןɐuıɟ uɐɔ
■Smile, it’s the second best thing you can do with your lips.
■oh I’m sorry! i didn’t realise you were giving me a dirty look…i just thought you were ugly like that all the time!!
■wants to merge MySpace, Facebook, YouTube and Twitter and call it: MY FACE YOU TWIT.
■X says don’t look at me in that tone of voice.
■Is anyone going to put anything funny on here?????
■If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other.
■eat eat and eat….but don’t eat my brain.
■I married my wife for her looks. But not the ones she’s been giving me lately!
■a guy knocked on my door today asking for a donation for the local primary school’s pool. I went away and came back with a cup of water….. Is that wrong?
■ʎɐqǝ uo pɹɐoqʎǝʞ ɐ ʎnq ı ǝɯıʇ ʇsɐן ǝɥʇ sı sıɥʇ
■All men are born free and equal. If they go and get married, that’s their own fault.
■too cool for school.
■trying to think of clever things to say after inhaling from a helium balloon.
■the kid next door’s imaginary friend.
■–^v–^v–^v–^v-_____^v–^v–^v– For a second there, I was bored to death.
■definitely not watching what not to wear.
■forcing my dog to learn how to google.
■kissing a girl and may or may not be liking it.
■Got out of jury duty by prefacing every answer with “according to the prophecy”
■X is Loading ████████████ 99%
■Dont you find it Funny that after Monday(M) and Tuesday(T), the rest of the week says WTF?
■U have 10 fish, 5 drown, 3 come back to life. How many fish do you have? Stop counting smart one. Fish cant Drown.
■X went to the book store earlier to buy a ‘Where’s Wally’ book. When I got there, I couldn’t find the book anywhere. Well played Wally, well played.
■Hi, my name is Damimeve. The ‘mime’ is silent.
■I’ve always wondered if film directors wake up screaming “CUT! CUT! CUUUUUT!” when they have nightmares.
■In an interview, “I can multitask housework with facebook!”
■X is coloring on your wall! ((̲̅ ̲̅(̲̅C̲̅r̲̅a̲̅y̲̅o̲̅l̲̲̅̅a̲̅( ̲̅̅((>
■never judges a book by its cover. She uses the paragraph on the back, it tells you what the story is about.
■a day late and a dollar short.
■Insert coin to view my status message.
■If somebody offers you a lifetime supply of candy and there is just one piece, don’t eat it: It’s probably poison.
■We have so much in common. You want to travel,I want you to go .
■happy that you finally broke up with that slut. Now I can tell you VIA facebook update that I boinked her.
■seen pictures of you naked on the internet.
■remembers the day when blackberry and apple were just fruit.
■> $20 in my bank acct. Drinks on you home.
■20/20 hearing!
hahhhHAHAHAHHAHAHhhahahahhahahahahHahhahahahahhahaHHkhahaHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHHhhahahahhahahahahah 😀 bet nobodys ever did that 😉
Madison October 13, 2011 At 8:15 am

Steve jobs isn’t dead
SMD.COM;) October 12, 2011 At 11:51 pm

insaME
SMD.COM;) October 12, 2011 At 11:50 pm

this is soo funny , i love this site
im trying to find a funny fb satuas about whores , any sugestions ?
sherinareshreddy October 12, 2011 At 9:42 pm

Hi
Charissa October 12, 2011 At 4:11 am

OMG 😀 these are so funny, i love them… WICKED!!
7894561236 October 11, 2011 At 10:52 pm

im 15 and these are for like old people
BadHumour October 9, 2011 At 9:04 pm

iReckon…
John Cunningham October 9, 2011 At 11:56 pm

Good list. There’s some funny ones in there, that’s for sure!
Emma October 8, 2011 At 6:54 am

omg, steve jobs did die! two days ago, and one of these said iDead, that is terrible! :/
bigsam emma October 7, 2011 At 7:45 pm

its jst i lyk it, i mean this web site
check it out! October 7, 2011 At 2:03 pm

i got one:

“Don’t hate me cuz’ i’m beautiful ! ”
-Keri Hilson
“I hate you cuz’ I’m beautiful ! ”
-Me @ Keri ! & You! ;P
Don't J U D G E ! October 7, 2011 At 1:53 pm

If you have a facebook, and you’re online right now… you may rape my ‘like’ button now!
ashley October 7, 2011 At 9:59 am

thats almost as sad as dropping your crack in the snow :{
smp420 October 7, 2011 At 9:15 am

ayee 12345,, Im 15 to and i think some are pretty funny. Your prolly a lil bitch who thinks your cooler than everyone.
Cookiee monsterrr 110 October 6, 2011 At 3:45 am

Girl: Yhur a butthole.. ! (:
Boy: Well Yhur the whole butt )(:
HatingSarah October 5, 2011 At 5:19 pm

Sarah… All witty people get their stuff from this website… oh wait, no they don’t, they’re actually funny not just fools who regurgitate stuff.
Yrkaratekid October 5, 2011 At 8:21 am

I don’t curse, so most of this sucks for me! AHH!
Don cheeto October 5, 2011 At 7:40 am

A native can only read this if a chicken can read while eating the corn and chomping the bread of Jesus while readin everything I said to the one who made no sense and the at chick who likes skinny kids and the skinny kid who wants a piece of food and talks to a dead man but doesn’t know hes actually dead…. Words of our lord amen
Morgan Krueger October 4, 2011 At 5:49 am

HERES ONE 🙂
Call me a b****
Well a b**** is a dog,
dogs bark,
bark is on trees,
trees are part of nature,
and nature is beautiful..
So thanks for the compliment!
abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz October 4, 2011 At 2:25 am

hahahahahahaha this is life
eva October 4, 2011 At 3:57 am

this shit works for shit lol
Brain October 3, 2011 At 4:48 pm

I f**king love this brosef
12345 October 3, 2011 At 11:25 am

this stuff is shit, im 15 and theres no way id use this crap, its dry and for parents that think they’re cool, justsaying.
taylor123 October 3, 2011 At 7:47 am

dear woman, have you ever thought to ur self sex is a complete mistake…. sex itself is pain. then you have to carry a baby around and throwup alot……then you have a baby come out of your va-jj so woman dont get pregnant!!! 🙂 hahaha JK just have protected sex, sex is amazing!!!!
Nobody October 3, 2011 At 7:06 am

please bang me
Nobody October 3, 2011 At 7:03 am

ill love these
Sarah October 3, 2011 At 2:06 am

my friends always ask me why am i so funny…..ITS BECAUSE OF THIS WEBSITE!
Lynn October 2, 2011 At 7:51 pm

This stuff is great, thanks guys! 🙂
john October 2, 2011 At 2:57 pm

this stuff is the shit…………
Rwan Altahir October 2, 2011 At 8:07 am

My favorite ones were I love how, in scary movies, the person yells out, “Hello?” As if the bad guy is gonna be like, “Yeah, I`m in the kitchen! Want a sandwich?” and ‎”Dont you find it Funny that after Monday(M) and Tuesday(T), the rest of the week says WTF?”.
lmao
shelby October 2, 2011 At 6:44 am

its so funny lol
sabelo mabuza October 2, 2011 At 12:47 am

this one made my nyt.

I’ve always
wondered if film directors
wake up screaming “CUT!
CUT! CUUUUUT!” when
they have nightmares.
sithembiso khanyile(ngwane..) October 1, 2011 At 10:59 pm

lol,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,lol
sithembiso khanyile(ngwane..) October 1, 2011 At 10:58 pm

I’m not addicted to Facebook. I only use it when I have time: lunch time, break time, bed time, off time, this time, that time, any time, all the time.
Justin beiber October 1, 2011 At 10:39 pm

Hey I like dick (:
Justin October 1, 2011 At 7:35 am

lmao they’re all awesome!! I love
the one that said ” Going to McDonalds for salad is
like going to a prostitute for a
hug..!
jOCE sMITH October 1, 2011 At 3:30 am

omg I loved all theese!!!!! they were hilarious!!! and btw the fake justin beiber needs to quit cause we all know ur fake… and the jb comments? seriosly? i mean, im not a jb fan but ya’ll take things wy to far jus 2 b like every1 els!!
Sally September 30, 2011 At 5:51 am

This is so hilarious.I love the justin beaver ones they seriously made my day.
Nyssa September 29, 2011 At 6:35 am

I lovve dehh 1 frmm JUSTIN BIEBER! LOL
aDD ME ON FACEBOOK! Nyssa Usher!
Justin Bieber's Momma September 27, 2011 At 8:27 pm

Teen: Mom can I wear this belly shirt today?
Me: No.
Teen: Can I pleeeaaaasseee wear this mini skirt then?
Me: Never in your life!
Teen: Please, just let me wear this hot pink lipstick?
Me: I won’t allow it.
Teen: But Mom, I’m 18!!!
Me: I know Justin… I know…..

~~TWO DAYS LATER~~

Justin: Mom, can I ask you something?
Me: Sure sweetie.
Justin: Some boys at school kept saying this certain word… so I was wondering… What’s a v*g*na?
Me: The answer’s in your pants, dear.
Justin: ……
selena marie gomez September 27, 2011 At 10:21 am

I dont like that u guys are making fun of justin he is a awsome kid and very talented and the fake justin bieber one up there^ said i did want anyobe to find out that im gay really guys just u can be wut ecer u want to be but like stop saying that he is gay and those jokes are really good and just saying if any of my fans are on here i luv u guys qnd thank u for all ur support u guys are the reason im were i am rite now <33333
Sonny Brook September 27, 2011 At 8:44 am

lazy rule
# 34933028721623995745443232009876321089
you were too lazy to read the whole number
Taylor2596 September 27, 2011 At 6:04 am

Too bad suicide isn’t a crime……..
hasan zacki September 26, 2011 At 10:58 am

guys check this one out.. red bull gives you wings, marijuana gets you high, just have a mix and you will be air born in no time~flying made simple~
Jes September 25, 2011 At 8:10 pm

Very nice jokes….i liked it……mainly those on justin!!….
Ashlynn Albright September 24, 2011 At 3:46 am

OMGG….! I Love Da Ones Bout Justin Bebier….! Hahah LMFAO Add Me On Facebook

Ashlynn Albright Onli da opnes wiff pics on it ;lol
Me September 24, 2011 At 3:18 am

KEEP DOING JUSTIN BIEBER ONES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😀
Justin Biebzz September 22, 2011 At 8:14 am

hahah im glad every one understands my feelings for men and take it seriously…. even though the water bottle did hit me first
TIiNKeeY September 21, 2011 At 4:06 pm

LawL love thes things but some are tooo stupid
ys11 September 20, 2011 At 11:59 am

i love these they mad me laugh
emzii September 19, 2011 At 11:08 pm

Lovee thessee maaan ther soo funnyy.. specially the jb oones x
emzii September 19, 2011 At 11:19 pm

ahahah I love theese! speciallyy the biebber oness haha to all yeww bliebes!
Sand September 19, 2011 At 4:45 pm

The Justin Bieber ones r superb
salz September 19, 2011 At 2:17 pm

luv thiz 1 … lmao Going to McDonalds for salad is like going to a prostitute for a hug.
Brittany Billy September 19, 2011 At 11:54 am

Lolz Diss is sum awesome funny 😀 s#!+ lol
Justin Beiber September 19, 2011 At 11:27 am

It still hurts!!!
Justin Bieber September 19, 2011 At 11:24 am

It still hurts!!
Breann September 19, 2011 At 6:23 am

THE TWO AND A HALF MEN ONE KILLED ME!
niveen September 18, 2011 At 9:36 pm

i like the status 😀
Malori September 18, 2011 At 8:30 pm

The Justin Bieber ones were my favorite!
Barneyy ! [: September 18, 2011 At 12:40 pm

Haha , I Love This Onee It Wass Soo Funny And I Got Lots Of Likess ! (:

Yuhr Make-Up Looks So Pretty ! [:
Lol , Jkay ‘ Itt Looks Like Ahh ‘ Crayola Raped Yuhr Face !! 😀
KateTheClever>=3 August 31, 2011 At 12:19 am

You’re evil lies within…. mine is on the outside… don’t be jealous >:D
KateTheClever>=3 August 31, 2011 At 12:10 am

my fave one “I like to name my ipod ‘Titanic’ so when it says ‘Syncing Titanic’ i click cancel and it makes me feel like a hero.” i got lots of likes and comments! 😀
:) August 30, 2011 At 9:52 pm

You can tell the Justin Bieber at the in comments is fake, because it says “damn i didn’t know i was gay”
He’s going out with Selena Gomez.
Yo mama August 30, 2011 At 8:32 am

lol these r fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnny
eric geren August 30, 2011 At 7:36 am

HA HA HA HA HA good stuff but some of these are old
KateTheClever>=3 August 30, 2011 At 4:38 am

lmao they’re all awesome!! I love the one that said ” Connie walks up to Liz’s tombstone that said.. “BRB!” .. if you just bothered looking for that joke…. you just wasted your time >=)
jesssss August 25, 2011 At 9:05 pm

no offence, but these are all gay..
most of them are like pages on facebook anyways..
Brooklyn August 25, 2011 At 3:14 am

Heres three quotes, they’re histerical.

Twinkle Twinkle little whore relationships come in twos, not in fours.

Twinkle Twinkle my little slut spread your cheeks and whipe your butt.

Twinkle Twinkle little slut spread your cheeks so I can fuck your butt.
... August 23, 2011 At 7:07 pm

ha ha ha posted loads of theese!!!!

love this one ‘A divorced man walks over to his ex-wifes new hubby n asked…so how does it feel enjoying 2nd hand goods?..Doesn’t bother me,he responds..actually once u get past the 1st 3 inches, the rest is all brand new.’

i wuz rotfl!!!!!!!!!!
Ganesh @ Axleration August 23, 2011 At 4:07 pm

Funny as hell !
Alexa August 23, 2011 At 1:33 pm

Here is one:
Dear God, please give us back Michael Jackson and in exchange we’ll give you Justin Bieber, Miley Cyrus and the Jonas Bros and Rebbeca Black. Sincerely, Me
zoe101 August 23, 2011 At 9:34 am

One day, YouTube, Twitter,and Facebook will merge and create something called YouTwitFace.
Justin Bieber August 23, 2011 At 5:49 am

Dang, I didnt think anybody knew that I was gay….
chantelle August 22, 2011 At 11:03 pm

STOP DOING JUSTIN BIEBER ONES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :@
sukriri August 22, 2011 At 3:35 pm

hahaha!!!!…..roflmfao!!…….so COOL!! 🙂 😛
😉
kenzie (cassies gurl) August 22, 2011 At 11:14 am

i like the one that says wanted to kill the sexiest person alive…But suicide’s a crime.
Brooke August 22, 2011 At 8:22 am

I would like this, if I didn’t have all the Justin Bieber ones..
stevevn August 22, 2011 At 6:04 am

add me on fb steven balzeski
dhflherufihsdf August 21, 2011 At 1:45 pm

wow.
teenagers nowadays are super lame.
go outside.
Adam Wentzell August 21, 2011 At 12:16 pm

I just heard Mc’ Donalds fought Burger King in front of Popeye’s over that girl Wendy. The funeral is at K.F.C you going? I’m taking the subway LMAOOO ( :
Tiffany August 21, 2011 At 10:44 am

The cheese and tomato joke is so funny I fingered my vagina so hard that there was blood everywhere. Then I just played with myself
sugerbabe69 August 21, 2011 At 12:44 am

there cool not all tht funny
Miranda August 20, 2011 At 11:18 am

I love how, in scary movies, the person yells out, “Hello?” As if the bad guy is gonna be like, “Yeah, I`m in the kitchen! Want a sandwich?” (x
Alyssa August 20, 2011 At 10:34 am

I got so many likes from these on FB,they had ma Lmao!
Kendall Jenner August 20, 2011 At 8:04 am

Wow, that funny! But some are too icky. My niece Mason was looking at my laptop screen!!
TIMMY!!!!! August 19, 2011 At 10:42 pm

Go Compare, Go Compare, Give me a Rope To Hang The Bloke at GO COMPARE
Holly August 19, 2011 At 9:59 pm

these r well funny i used one of them and in like five minutes it had 12 likes and 9 comments lol 😀
love143 August 19, 2011 At 2:52 am

@hornyassfuk same 😛
hi August 19, 2011 At 5:33 am

hi
ellie August 18, 2011 At 11:24 pm

great website i love these! also “gracie” shut the f**k up ok and get a fucking life! nobody asked u about justin bieber also when you said “then why are you here why” well why do u think dosy bitch to read the facebook statuses you fucking donkey!
i showed my mom some of these and she put them on facebook straight away (: <3
Katie H August 18, 2011 At 9:30 pm

soo funnny !
gg August 18, 2011 At 4:31 am

gggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg
Megann August 18, 2011 At 2:31 am

add me on fb

meganmustache hugspolarbears

(: ♥
renee August 18, 2011 At 2:19 am

These were soo alsome.. there funnyy(:
stev August 17, 2011 At 4:47 am

My friends status said, “standing on the edge of a cliff :/”…so i poked him. lolol
sarah August 17, 2011 At 4:25 am

hahahah lol sooo funny 😛 i told my dad about the 1 where behind every woman is a man starriing at her ass …. 😛 and hes like your right 😛 lmao
tanu August 15, 2011 At 7:48 pm

awesooom,,,,..lolz…;’;,,love the cmnts
Heather Morrissey August 15, 2011 At 3:00 pm

LOLOLOLOLOL!
miss bitch August 15, 2011 At 7:19 am

wow this shit is tu funnie i love the jb jokes
ass cheeks an weed August 15, 2011 At 2:03 am

lol. add me tj bull on facebook im a pervert so dont expect muck if i ask you to show me boobs!
Abby August 14, 2011 At 10:01 pm

Omg this is so funny got to say i couldn’t stop laughing at some of them
Hugh Jass August 14, 2011 At 1:37 pm

Omg I posted one of these statuses and got
Almost 4 like in 5 minutes! Thanks!
Girl August 14, 2011 At 8:28 am

This is sad.
harsh August 13, 2011 At 10:02 pm

dude its a awesome yr i m serious
TNinja August 13, 2011 At 9:42 am

these had me dying 😀
very funny news August 12, 2011 At 10:21 pm

This stastus with codebar is the best.
chelsea August 12, 2011 At 7:39 pm

hahaha awesome dude !!! ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ shit i dropped my bag of doritos
Kaustubh August 12, 2011 At 12:50 pm

ya it’s good but i wanted much more.anyways thanks
2k August 12, 2011 At 9:56 am

all this shxt had me dien
harry August 11, 2011 At 10:32 pm

i put the one which sed i wanted to kill the sexiest person alive but suicid is a crime as my status and i got 10 likes in a minute
ananya August 11, 2011 At 4:57 pm

iloved dis like hellll,,,,especially that cheese n tomato,….
Saf August 11, 2011 At 4:46 pm

this status’s are really awesome………..:-)
Amanda August 11, 2011 At 8:09 am

this stuff is funnyy as hell (:
Gracie August 11, 2011 At 8:03 am

All you fans out there, well I have something to say to you, if i can deal with being made fun of just like this, then so can JB or whatever because after a while you get use to it, you fans just are not getting it, you think he is hurt, he gets used to it! ( well she, srry) Plus JB said he was gay so he could get all the publicity!!! And all you ugly people out there, you are not going to get a chance with him now stop being jelous i mean seriously! We are not the ones saying things like “I hope jb dies because I want him selena shouldn’t have him!” well you shouldn’t have anyone! I am not a fan but I am telling all you fans, you need to get some common sense!!! Jb isnt the only star that’s getting mad fun of all of them are, but if you ask ANYONE they will know who he is isn’t that a good thing!?!?! I mean really all this publicity is great for him! and you guys are all like stop being mean and tring to stop this popularity well knock it off! I like these jokes and if you don’t then why in the hell are you here!!?!? I mean seriously why! EVERYONE and i mean everyone out there knows the name justin bieber. And yes I am a Selena fan and no i’m not to happy they are dating but you know if shes happy i’m happy and you should be happy for justin all you bielebers!!!!( ps im not a bieliber im just trying to knock some sense into you fans out there) Also this took me a while to write, but wait theres more! POST THIS ON EVERY JUSTIN BIEBER SIGHT AND YOUR FACEBOOK PAGES! GET THIS AROUND!
~Sydney~<3
sara August 10, 2011 At 11:32 pm

lol!!! i posted tons of these!!!
Dillon August 10, 2011 At 1:29 pm

behind every great women is a man staring at her ass
tshura August 10, 2011 At 7:56 am

these r really funny
tshura August 10, 2011 At 7:54 am

these r really funny!!! DWL
lolzxthisshizzisfunny!! August 10, 2011 At 7:30 am

this is great some funny shizz lolzx!!! especially that one that says : your makeup looks so pretty- jk lol it looks lik a crayola crayon raped your face!!!!
Gracie August 10, 2011 At 7:19 am

▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ dangit. i dropped my bag of doritos
CodyLuffer August 10, 2011 At 1:48 am

OMG I TOLD MY FREND BOUT THE SEXIEST SUICIDE THING AND HE SPIT HIS PEPSI ALL OVER MY WHITE CHURCH DRESS:(Now He Won’t Unlock The Bathroom Door Bc I Placed My Shoes In Front Of The Door And Said He Was Dead When He Came Out!!!I Told The Whore Tree One To My Mom She Immediately Updated Her Status.
Heres Another One:
X Has A Mssg For Yuu:
Yuur Garden Club Called
They Want Their Hoe Bakk
amin August 10, 2011 At 12:13 am

haha!!
every single posts are funny . .
it kept me rolling on the floor.. .!!
expecially those justin bieber joke!! haha!!
tamara August 9, 2011 At 6:45 am

rotfl omfg disziz sme funny ish
anonimus August 9, 2011 At 2:08 am

AHAHAHAAHAHAHA LOVE THIS PAGE
pia mishra August 8, 2011 At 4:59 pm

LOL!!!!!!!!
JBH8R August 8, 2011 At 1:30 pm

OMG!! used sum of deez on FB sooooooo many commments
hornyassfuk August 8, 2011 At 3:50 am

the cheese tomatoe joke made me so horny im touching myself right now nd im lonley anybody doing the same 😉 8======>~~
jewel August 6, 2011 At 6:06 pm

add me jewel emaley on facebook
jasmin August 6, 2011 At 3:28 pm

some good some crap :L
Hiiii(; August 6, 2011 At 3:36 am

This is some funny ass shit!(:
I August 6, 2011 At 2:45 am

This is awesome! I love it!!
lolllll August 5, 2011 At 1:57 pm

so frakin funny
sarah August 5, 2011 At 6:17 am

these are freakin halarious
Monroe Seraille August 3, 2011 At 6:12 am

hi
djmoraj August 2, 2011 At 3:40 am

too 4uny
ASHADA August 1, 2011 At 11:29 pm

GREAT ! i love it ….<3
Sanduni July 31, 2011 At 10:57 pm

COOOLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!
Sanduni July 31, 2011 At 10:56 pm

LOVE IT!!!!
keefyb July 31, 2011 At 8:11 am

Never moon a werewolf.

Ketamine – Just say nay

How do deaf people know if someone is screaming or yawning?

Why does everyone think my Dads are gay?

Marks And Spencers new advert states that it wouldn’t be Christmas without M&S.

They’re right too. It’d be Chrita.

I just ended a long-term relationship today.

I’m not too bothered, it wasn’t mine.
jo July 30, 2011 At 9:56 am

Funny 🙂 But some of are lame…
Punky July 30, 2011 At 9:12 am

rofl…this is awesome xD
Fanny Brazilian Guy July 30, 2011 At 4:54 am

¤══════¤♣♣¤¤۩۞۩ஜஜ۩۞۩¤¤♣♣¤══════¤♣ ░░░█▀█░█▀▄░█▀▄░░░░█▀▄▀█░█▀▀░░░█░ ░░░█▀█░█░█░█░█░░░░█░░░█░█▀░░░░▀░ ░░░█░█░█▄▀░█▄▀░░░░█░░░█░█▄▄░░░▄░ ¤══════¤♣♣¤¤۩۞۩ஜஜ۩۞۩¤¤♣♣¤══════¤♣ …FEEL SO BORED !
Funny July 29, 2011 At 11:24 pm

these r damn funny
satyam pro July 29, 2011 At 10:19 pm

LOLLzz
EVERYONE IS LOSER July 29, 2011 At 8:36 pm

HOw about you guys get creative and come up with your own status’ facebook likes dont make you popular especially if you got it off the internet. JUsss ssaying. IM OUT SUCK A POPSICLE.
lea angilletta July 29, 2011 At 12:08 pm

Well some of these are really funny ,
Others just stupid ! But overall

B+ 🙂

Lea <3
sany July 29, 2011 At 12:03 pm

hey add many more status plsssss
Adron July 29, 2011 At 9:57 am

dont know y i mad to comments lol jahvonte es this is me so if you think it isnt this will convince you hopefully lol l8ter again adron out peace
Adron July 29, 2011 At 9:53 am

goin to tease my gf with this $h!T THANKS GREAT WORK LOL btw love the one with the bunk bed and code thing Cheese cheese tomato cheese funny
Laila July 29, 2011 At 6:32 am

haha funny 😀
Nunya biznaz July 28, 2011 At 7:48 pm

Too funny…. If it’s not appropriate GET OUT…. I reposted somebody these…. Very good
Alex July 28, 2011 At 9:27 pm

Well was thinking on one, maybe a stupid one, but here is it:

‘I don’t read books and I have an ugly face, but here I am’

@lex
do i really need one? July 28, 2011 At 3:44 am

by god these are DAM funny
Elii July 27, 2011 At 9:58 pm

lol i read them all this is sooooooooo funny :))))))))))))))
Nikki Zataliya July 27, 2011 At 7:26 am

Love dis…so funny, if this were on facebook, i would go out of my ‘like’ limit.
Joleen Griffyn July 27, 2011 At 5:51 am

i love this site, but it needs to be more appropriate!!! >;(
dacky July 27, 2011 At 1:06 am

lol love the one about A divorced man walks over to his ex-wifes new hubby n asked…so how does it feel enjoying 2nd hand goods?..Doesn’t bother me,he responds..actually once u get past the 1st 3 inches, the rest is all brand new. and i wonder what will happen if Steve Jobs dies…. His tombstone may read – iDead…
joselyn July 26, 2011 At 4:36 am

this was so funny loved this shit look me up on fb at dominciangal rodriguez
aaannnnbbbbb July 24, 2011 At 6:06 pm

this is great!
Yony Smith July 24, 2011 At 2:34 pm

funny as hell posted all 150
Derrick Kachiroubas July 24, 2011 At 10:09 am

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fdjkb July 23, 2011 At 2:17 pm

good good
fdjkb July 23, 2011 At 2:16 pm

good good ..”i like itt!!”
jainit July 22, 2011 At 9:51 pm

awsummm…sweeet…keep up d gud wrk 🙂
charanjeet July 22, 2011 At 2:49 pm

very nice status
Celeste July 22, 2011 At 6:44 am

OMG i laughed my a$$ off!
Jazz July 22, 2011 At 2:07 am

Lmao xD this made my day ! 😀
gracemercy July 21, 2011 At 10:58 pm

oh my gosh this is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo cool and funny i love how perverted it is lol 🙂
Mo July 21, 2011 At 11:27 am

LMAO !! 🙂 I was really sad before but now I’m in a really good mood.
Sonia July 21, 2011 At 9:19 am

My friends status said, “standing on the edge of a cliff :/”…so i poked him.
Nique July 21, 2011 At 5:42 am

Yo , This Wensite 2 Fye !
cevon July 21, 2011 At 5:31 am

Right on!
emicakes July 21, 2011 At 5:23 am

gotta love when can get online and have other ppl do all the thinking for ya! lol

love the site!!!
LOL July 21, 2011 At 8:58 am

I laughed my ass off.
Madi July 21, 2011 At 3:32 am

kinda stupid but kinda good overall 50/100
wow July 20, 2011 At 11:16 pm

lol
Jami Melancon July 20, 2011 At 7:40 am

OMG, Love this.
Tastbeatt July 19, 2011 At 12:29 pm

, , , , ,
, , , ,
, , , ,
, , , ,
, , , , ,
yoo July 19, 2011 At 12:20 pm

:LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
katherine kling July 19, 2011 At 12:16 pm

love the mario one lol
Pedrorocks16 July 13, 2011 At 6:49 am

I swear Mario is a hobo, He wakes up wearing the same clothes, Runs in sewers, and steals coins. To buy what? MUSHROOMS!
Nikki Adkins July 12, 2011 At 4:37 pm

NU UH D:
Eviljoker800 July 11, 2011 At 1:45 am

Dinosaurs were lies, fed to us to cover up the existence of Pokemon.
StarTrooper95 July 9, 2011 At 6:14 pm

wiz khalifa 😉
Yapyap Lorenzo July 9, 2011 At 12:50 pm

= )
Yapyap Lorenzo July 9, 2011 At 12:49 pm

haha.. r u the one u are talking about ?
Def July 7, 2011 At 4:28 pm

пошел на хуй пидорас. Русская мафия форева!
Caseybeth5035 July 6, 2011 At 1:31 am

☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆ ░░░█▀█░█▀▄░█▀▄░░░░█▀▄▀█░█▀▀░░░█░ ░░░█▀█░█░█░█░█░░░░█░░░█░█▀░░░░▀░ ░░░█░█░█▄▀░█▄▀░░░░█░░░█░█▄▄░░░▄░ ☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆
if i kinow you!
Cheese July 4, 2011 At 5:14 pm

actually, wouldn’t there be 13 if three came back to life.?
Ari cooper July 4, 2011 At 10:56 am

or a cheese burger from macdonalds
Effie Tutko July 3, 2011 At 11:10 am

i gwt ittt
mee :) July 2, 2011 At 9:16 pm

i wanted to kill the sexiest person alive, but commting scuicide is a crime!! ;D
Your Mom July 1, 2011 At 6:11 pm

@ Your mom… bitch quit reading status and go make me a damn sandwich!
Dallanzt July 1, 2011 At 4:49 pm

This is some funny ass shit!!!
demiroquai June 29, 2011 At 3:23 am

The end of every episode of “Man vs. Food” turns into “Man vs. Toilet.”
Bjhfjjn June 27, 2011 At 8:54 pm

Really good website haha pissed myself just reading them !! xD
Mandmdraughon June 27, 2011 At 12:10 pm

Its funny guys remember your bra size but not your birthdate..ughh…men…
Aggy June 26, 2011 At 10:36 am

i did a poo
Idahopotato7777 June 25, 2011 At 8:59 pm

Gay people should all be put on an island so they go extinct… Gay is NASTY
Idahopotato7777 June 25, 2011 At 8:58 pm

Good……
Idahopotato7777 June 25, 2011 At 8:54 pm

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…… Thats funny……
Idahopotato7777 June 25, 2011 At 8:51 pm

artaficial intelligence….
martez June 24, 2011 At 9:12 am

some people do like him…some people hate him..the ones that hate him are putting up jokes about how they feel towards him !duhh
Yakatuso June 24, 2011 At 8:42 am

seems like u’ve been seeing HOUSE a lott…
Callum June 23, 2011 At 7:32 pm

becca tett and becca sket!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😀
Pranky June 23, 2011 At 11:09 am

i liked it but dat doesnt mean i copied !!! 😉
Elijah Branton June 23, 2011 At 10:22 am

I miss Poking you
Demisha naidoo June 23, 2011 At 12:15 am

jah ryt so that meams that they cant even sow their face
Lorenzoawan June 22, 2011 At 10:00 pm

This comment is hacked, you can like it as many times as you like(:
Thegodofguitars June 21, 2011 At 11:33 pm

THAT JOKE ABOUT STEVE JOBS IS MINE!!!! 😀 REALLY!!! 😀 I WROTE THAT ON FUNNY STATUS APPLICATION ON FACEBOOK!!! AND NOW I AM SOO HAPPY TO SEE IT HERE!!! 😀 😀 😀 YAY!!!!
Yasmin June 20, 2011 At 10:19 am

Wow! This is just all…………..STUPID STATUSES!!!!!!!!!!!!! WTF REALLY>>>>>>>>>>>>;………
Brookerose2989 June 20, 2011 At 1:01 am

Hahaha I agree. And people who keep saying all blondes are dumb need to stop being so hypocritical, really it just means you have no life, well that your not liveing it to the fullest anyway.

Ahaha dont u just live how my name and my comment coincide? ^•^
.:Gablz:. June 19, 2011 At 6:31 am

OH WOW!! The last time I laughed that hard was when my grandmother fell off her dinosaur…

Like if you gwet it 🙂
Liammulberry June 19, 2011 At 1:10 am

just been told if girls show more than there legs or bellys there classed as a slag wow! everyones fucked!.. need to learn what it means:L
23sara June 18, 2011 At 7:58 pm

im awesome
Devinhawkins92 June 18, 2011 At 4:52 am

I watch porn.
Cat June 18, 2011 At 4:00 am

I don’t mind if you copy (steal) my status… but at least like my status <1st 😉
PremiereDJ June 17, 2011 At 5:20 pm

My wife always complains that I don’t take her anywhere expensive anymore… so i took her to the gas station.
your mom. June 17, 2011 At 3:52 am

that was funny 8 years ago when my 4 year old sister said it. now it’s just old and lame.
Jarricamarie June 17, 2011 At 12:42 am

I went to the shell gas station this morning. I gave the clerck 5$ in gas, she bent over and farted and gave me the recipt
Planetspectrum June 16, 2011 At 6:47 pm

oh, is “penis” a bad word?
hell masenger June 14, 2011 At 3:48 pm

i luv to play game with my gf
Te31 June 13, 2011 At 11:54 pm

thinking of kissing coolest person alive…… oh that would be wierd kissing myself hehe lol
KalleGo1OneWay June 13, 2011 At 10:38 am

Girls fall in love with what they hear. Boys fall in love with what they see. That’s why girls wear make up; and boys lie
Bbykaboo June 13, 2011 At 3:36 am

Daymmmm I Likee<3
Arshiarora12 June 12, 2011 At 12:35 pm

i have posted all status
Northstar296 June 12, 2011 At 11:00 am

I think the real issue is, the answer is 10. It doesn’t matter if they drowned or not, the question was, “how many fish do you have?”
Jaimie Blizz June 12, 2011 At 10:52 am

Men marry becoz they are tired, women becoz they are curious;n both are disappointed;)lolx;)
Franco June 11, 2011 At 8:37 pm

AWESOME POST!!!
Liljonnay June 12, 2011 At 1:48 am

you dont have to like me i aint a facebook status
KalleGo1OneWay June 11, 2011 At 10:59 pm

man and wife are making a new password for the computer. man types “mype**s”, wife falls to the floor laughing cause the computer says “error: too short”#LMAFO
Syaz Cullen June 11, 2011 At 12:27 pm

Haha , wow , half of it really make sense !
The other half ….. well , just awesome
lewis cooper June 11, 2011 At 4:40 am

kunt and shit status’s
Natthu......... June 9, 2011 At 12:08 pm

wow i think i will post
all the status here on my fb…………
cool June 9, 2011 At 9:58 am

now that bin laden is dead….. can we masterbate on airplanes now…? i’d really appreciate if someone let me in on this… thank you much love<3
victoria(: June 9, 2011 At 3:38 am

i DARE you to like this status!
Angy June 8, 2011 At 3:48 pm

lol only a BLONDE would spell BRUNETTE as brunnet…smh JAJAJA
Nikki June 8, 2011 At 3:27 pm

Hispanic people aren’t usually blonde.

Here’s a good status update: I’m not stupid, just a brunette eith many blonde moments.

No offense to blondes!
Natasha Anderson June 8, 2011 At 5:35 pm

KMT. ..Take a J O K E.#?
Bailey Riedel June 8, 2011 At 1:36 am

the kid who cried boredom. . . thats me.
Amsssssssssss June 7, 2011 At 10:01 pm

hahahha i love how ^^^ that comment got more like than the original comment !!! bahahahha
lmao June 7, 2011 At 5:23 am

hahahahhahahahahaha
lmao June 7, 2011 At 5:23 am

hahahahahaha
Meee :') June 5, 2011 At 2:33 pm

One problem with the status …. ‘U have 10 fish, 5 drown, 3 come back to life. How many fish do you have? Stop counting smart one. Fish cant Drown.’ They can drown silly! If you pull them backwards DUUHHHHHH.
Flor June 5, 2011 At 1:59 am

It’s not a typo. ‘jajaja’ is ‘hahaha’ in spanish. My guess is Hispanic blonde.
Elijah Branton June 4, 2011 At 2:31 pm

Yayyyyyy 1 hr & 58 mins til my vid is one uploading!!! 😀
Bromsoo June 4, 2011 At 8:08 am

come to realize the 3 main lifetime side effect of consuming alcohol are;
1. Impaired judgment,
2. Lose of memory and..
3. Hmmmm….i can’t remember.
Swampfire10 June 3, 2011 At 1:42 am

thay was’nt even funny at all stupid
Iluvpandas1 June 2, 2011 At 9:39 pm

Oh im sorry im not perfect for you but did you ever realize that your full of flaws too??
Gursimer Saini June 2, 2011 At 10:09 am

you can’t run……….you cnt’hide from the man of dark side rest in peace
derp June 2, 2011 At 3:58 am

Thats a stupid thing to say to a girl and to some girls it really offends them.
Awesome_jill June 2, 2011 At 1:54 am

great statuses. check out for more awesome statuses
Scott June 1, 2011 At 7:54 am

funny 😀
Saryah May 31, 2011 At 9:49 pm

This is so great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
maz May 31, 2011 At 10:31 pm

errr i would question a “stiff” tea bag ?!? lol
Opps May 31, 2011 At 5:00 pm

ur mums old even my grandmother knows who eminem is. buzz killa 😀
zuss May 31, 2011 At 4:35 pm

EXACT DEFINITION OF engineering..Engineering is the study of finding a black cat in a dark room,u know wh,when der is no cat..
ashleyyyyy May 31, 2011 At 4:45 am

same thing happened 2 me i laughed so hard
Brandonmale May 30, 2011 At 6:49 pm

who cares what the definition is they can drown pull them backwards 🙂
Brandonmale May 30, 2011 At 6:37 pm

no where they dont lik you round eye mofo
GGgggggggg May 30, 2011 At 8:47 am

Nice
Katepym May 30, 2011 At 4:35 am

It’s meant to make you immediately think of something sexual, so as you’re reading it, you’re certain of what it is: (we all know)
then BANG it’s a tea bag and you read over again and realise
kakaka kraziee May 30, 2011 At 12:02 am

everyone can be 2 faced buy 2 mirrors !! dahhh .
Caseybeth5035 May 28, 2011 At 10:05 pm

umm hello yes you do who are you to talk
shery hashmi May 28, 2011 At 6:53 pm

I wont be impressed with science until i can download a zinger burger…:-p
tha truth obviously May 28, 2011 At 12:30 am

uhhh suffication means not being able to breath dumb shit
Didhukbhukee May 27, 2011 At 10:22 pm

dude are you OKAY?
kellerboy May 27, 2011 At 10:47 am

I think we have a winner…(:
Rook May 27, 2011 At 5:28 am

Pickup line of the day: Did you get those pants on sale? Because at my house they would be 100% off!
Manasaks2 May 26, 2011 At 10:04 pm

save water take bath wid neighbours daughter
Arushi Purohit May 26, 2011 At 10:51 am

where is liliput gone dis days?
nonsence family May 25, 2011 At 2:00 am

A Yardie Goes Into a gogo club & Seh ‘How Much Fe A Gryne?’ The whore Says ‘$1000’. The Yardie Say ‘Me Will Pay Yuh $2000 Fe A Jamaican Style. The Prostitute Says No. The Yardie Say Alrite Me Will Give Yuh $5000. The whore Thinks Ok How Bad Can Jamaican Style Be, So She Agrees. After 30mins The Prostitute Says ‘That Was Amazing But Where Does The Jamaican Style Come In? The Yardie Says ‘Me Will Pay Yuh Next Week.’
ohh jeez :) May 24, 2011 At 5:13 am

that sounds gross lol,,, (x_x)
<3Pandas<3 May 24, 2011 At 5:10 am

haha way to go dude show em who’s smarter than the average bear
Bradley Aucoin May 24, 2011 At 3:51 am

Too bad this page doesn’t have one..
Bradley Aucoin May 24, 2011 At 3:46 am

Is it just me, or is the ice cream machine at McDonalds always broken..
Naomiandromy May 23, 2011 At 11:44 pm

The comments are funnier than the statuses!
IWent2School May 23, 2011 At 3:58 pm

Drowning is the act of suffocation while being submerged (usually in water) While I agree that suffocation and drowning have the same outcome, they are not the same thing. When one is being smothered with a pillow, they are suffocating, not drowning.
Catchme_nishu May 23, 2011 At 1:10 pm

you can drown if there’s no water! go to school dumass!
Catchme_nishu May 23, 2011 At 1:09 pm

actually, drowning means the lungs get filled with stuff they shouldn’t be filled with. fish don’t have lungs! yeah, they can drown though…
Go back to school! May 23, 2011 At 12:04 pm

You go back to school! Suffocation is the build up of CO2 in the body not being able to escape! Not so much the lack of Oxygen!!
Wackydude189 May 23, 2011 At 9:53 am

Hey dumbass… fish cant drown thats sufficating in water… they can sufficate though…
Akashpatil8888 May 22, 2011 At 3:42 pm

Its Awe some !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hasanbulut May 22, 2011 At 3:21 am

Mrs. Bin Laden just updated her Facebook status to single
Charlie Elkins May 21, 2011 At 4:15 am

water will never enter the lungs unless the person has already died you body has a process called the dive reflex that stops any water goinig into the lungs if your under water .stupid dumbass hahahaha
playdude69 May 21, 2011 At 4:07 am

drowning and suffixation are exactly the same thing , when you head goes under water theirs a flap of skin in your neck that closes to stop water getting in so you starve of oxygen ,, go back to school DUMBASS 🙂
Hhhhhh May 21, 2011 At 3:57 am

Definition of drowning is suffocating in water, so ye fish cant drown douche bag!!
jess.x.x. May 19, 2011 At 3:33 pm

having a typo doesnt make you blonde… it makes you human 😛
Bernadetteusis May 19, 2011 At 1:15 pm

fascinating !!!
Kcjives May 19, 2011 At 11:20 am

ppffhahahahaha i really hope ur joking. the definition of drowning is asphyxiation caused by submersion in a liquid lol.
Kcjives May 19, 2011 At 11:20 am

ppffhahahahaha i really hope ur joking. the definition of drowning is asphyxiation caused by submersion in a liquid lol.
Bumpy May 18, 2011 At 7:05 pm

that’s right cause drowning means there is water in the lungs
Phoebe May 18, 2011 At 6:07 pm

Just for interest sake. If you pull a fish backwards by it’s tale it drowns. I don’t know who i am supporting but i thought i would just throw it out there
Willie-esco May 18, 2011 At 12:09 pm

talking in circles losers
Sam123halohalohollahollanigga May 18, 2011 At 6:51 am

ahahahaha i love how nobody liked it!!! 😀
Vampiregirl5284 May 18, 2011 At 4:58 am

i love how everyone just sorta dove in to make you look bad XD
Amira_02begum May 18, 2011 At 1:37 am

hmm were can u get a number
Jjmusic4 May 17, 2011 At 7:38 am

Did you know in Japan girls keep their phones on vibrate and put them down their crotch?Don’t feel bad if they don’t answer. It means they’re busy 😉

……all i want to know is, where can i get a number? 😉

Like if you get it.
Jjmusic4 May 17, 2011 At 6:43 am

facebook isn’t twitter. you don’t need to tweet everything your doing.
Jjmusic4 May 17, 2011 At 6:42 am

Q: What do you do for a living? A: I’m a procrastinator.
Jjmusic4 May 17, 2011 At 5:26 am

^ shhhhhh….. boy’s brother
Anonymous Gurrrl May 16, 2011 At 9:21 pm

Me and my mom were shopping for new Cd’s and she asked me..
Mom: honey, Who’s your favorite artist?
Me: Eminem
Mom: The candy?
Me: no the rapper
Mom:What’s so special good about Candy Wrappers?
basheer sultana May 16, 2011 At 6:37 pm

cool yo…
Boutinbabyy May 16, 2011 At 1:36 pm

Clause*
Aditya Bansal65 May 16, 2011 At 6:18 am

lolz……….
Travis May 15, 2011 At 11:40 pm

hahahah
KalleGo1OneWay May 15, 2011 At 10:57 pm

When a girl cancels a date she cancels it because she has to…But when an boy cancels a date he cancels it because he has two.
Lolol May 15, 2011 At 8:58 pm

LOL these aren’t funny. Insert coin here: [] to view status
Bubblehead May 14, 2011 At 4:15 am

Lets See how Many Likes we can Get Yo, So ‘Like’. (: Peace Home Doug.
Natalie69vegas May 14, 2011 At 2:32 am

well how else r u gonna drown if there is no water? drowning n suffocating are 2 different things….hahahaha dumbass!
Sillwill May 13, 2011 At 3:34 pm

90% of people masturbate in the shower, the other 10% sing the SAME song. What song is it? …. I dunno either.
U_listen_to_me May 13, 2011 At 1:08 pm

Is that what happened to you or did your mama forget to swallow
Yankee_Babe1 May 13, 2011 At 12:14 pm

“These suck”
Aren’t you the pot calling the kettle black?
“Drowning” does NOT mean “not being able to breathe” “to drown” means to SUFFOCATE by submerging into water. One word-DICTIONARY!
Fish CAN SUFFOCATE but cannot drown (at least not by actual definition)
Suffocate means to deprive of oxygen, there are many ways to deprive of oxygen, but submerging into water is NOT one of them for fish.
Aj May 12, 2011 At 7:34 pm

Neither should ugly people get sex – they produce ugly kids!
your dumb! May 12, 2011 At 2:29 am

not true smart one! not beaing able to breath is called asphyxiation.. drowning is asphyxiation by water!! DUMB! now thats funny! just shoot yourself and dont talk anymore cause your stupid!
AV3000 May 11, 2011 At 6:14 am

Food for thought: The worst fight with a fly, is in a public restroom…Move!!! lol
AV3000 May 11, 2011 At 6:13 am

I gotta call Chuck Norris to see if I can borrow his TotalGym and nunchucks…lol
AV3000 May 11, 2011 At 6:11 am

I kno yall expected for me to forget about yall, go to only twitter and not really fb anymore cause Im rich and famous now. but Ima keep it real, Im still fb’ing…lol
Sw May 11, 2011 At 4:00 am

no your stupid. if someone stopped breathing, they’re not gonna say they drowned ? because they’re not in water.
junkers May 11, 2011 At 1:15 am

No, that’s asphyxia, drowning is dying through submersion and/or inhalation of water. WAY TO GO
youarethedumbasshere May 10, 2011 At 10:43 pm

Drowning is your lungs filling with water causing you to not be able to breath. Fish don’t have lungs.
Guest May 10, 2011 At 11:25 am

The best part is…….. you have a typo….. my guess is blonde. LOL
Mchilwan May 10, 2011 At 9:32 am

The bit about a skirt and skin to skin . . WHATS THAT GOTTA DO WITH A TEA BAG?! …FAIL!
MEE!! Duhh!!! =P May 9, 2011 At 11:35 pm

Don’t you just love it when pages have a ‘RETURN TO TOP’ button? It’s like a mini elevator!!
Umm_the_blonde May 9, 2011 At 9:34 pm

is it tax refundable?
You Suck May 9, 2011 At 9:23 pm

Asphyxiation is being unable to breathe… DUMBASS!!! Drowning is the lungs filling with fluid…
Geoffreysimmons May 9, 2011 At 4:09 am

Suffocation is not being able to breathe. Drowning is suffocation due to water or other fluid.
trensta May 8, 2011 At 10:24 pm

DROWNING IS GETTING WATER IN UR LUNGS!!!!! dumbass!!
trensta May 8, 2011 At 10:19 pm

illbet the person who made this as blonde
Darryld343 May 8, 2011 At 7:16 pm

Every guy has three girls in his life. The one he loves, hates, and can’t live without. And in the end, they’re all the same girl.
Popular Facebook May 8, 2011 At 9:57 am

Some good ones in there.
ladybug1879 May 8, 2011 At 4:33 am

why are blonde jokes fo stupid….so brunnets can get them…jajaja
KalleGo1OneWay May 8, 2011 At 3:05 am

I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was “You’ll never find anyone like me again!” I’m thinking, “I should hope not! If I don’t want you, why would I want someone like you
KalleGo1OneWay May 8, 2011 At 3:04 am

There’s no half-singing in the shower, you’re either a rock star or an opera diva.”
There’s no half-singing in the shower, you’re either a rock star or an opera diva
Joe Ace Docuyanan May 8, 2011 At 2:08 am

what the ****, shut up about justin bieber… hes famous and rich who gives a **** who cares if hes gay or not, let people like him or hate him…!
Joe Ace Docuyanan May 8, 2011 At 1:36 am

4 skin!!!!! ;D
kaYen May 7, 2011 At 4:00 am

Who cares! I get Both…;)
Gillian_Marie May 5, 2011 At 2:38 pm

If you can’t see the brighter side to life, go and polish the dull side. but if the dull side is already polished…then i guess ur fucked.
Saptarshi May 5, 2011 At 12:51 pm

The pressure on the brain is inversely proportional to the time provided that the Syllabus remains constant….this is student’s first law of tension 🙂
Sarahstarz2008 May 5, 2011 At 10:36 am

Roses are Red, Nuts are brown, Skirts go Up, Pants go Down, Body to Body, Skin to Skin, When it is Stiff, Stick it In, The Longer its In, The stronger it Gets, It goes in Dry, Comes out Wet, It comes out dripping,and it starts to Sag, Its not what you Think …its a Teabag xD
Grpr000 May 4, 2011 At 3:07 am

maybe for you! lol
Lauren paris Waters May 3, 2011 At 10:46 pm

dear parents, oh really? im the liar? tooth fairy.. easter bunny, santa claus! sincerly, your child..
X3pufflix3 May 3, 2011 At 7:56 am

haha full moon-a zero 0
Spelling is important May 2, 2011 At 5:25 pm

diposit=Deposit.
Banana27 May 2, 2011 At 12:32 am

roses r red, violets r blue, sugar is sweet, nd so r u. but the roses r wiltd the violets r dead, the sure bowl is empty, nd so is ur head!
emmy got back (; May 1, 2011 At 10:47 pm

and pregnant.. and isn’t…. i’m surprised you spelt your own hair color right :p
emmy got back (; May 1, 2011 At 10:44 pm

favorite part is how blonde ^^ is spelt wrong:P
Demarcusashelton May 1, 2011 At 9:11 am

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
Guest April 30, 2011 At 9:06 pm

is any of this supposed to be funny?x
Georgia Beaumont April 30, 2011 At 9:00 pm

LOL Do u WANNA hear A better one its boys are like coins hwat ever side they show there still twofaced lol <3
Mylesshun April 30, 2011 At 7:00 pm

dont ever laugh in the bathroom it will make people think ur playing with yourself
Ashwanth April 30, 2011 At 4:28 pm

coooooooooolllllllllll
Halawis April 30, 2011 At 11:12 am

funny
Lamontgrade7 April 30, 2011 At 3:10 am

HAHAHA
Rozzihere April 29, 2011 At 9:27 pm

Lolaageee(; ‘Two crisps are walking down the road, A car stops and asks them if they want a lift, they say “No Thanks We’re Walkers!!” Ahaaa(; <3<3
Trigger Man April 29, 2011 At 11:39 am

use text generator —> http://www.sherv.net/flip.html

ႨɯʇႡ˙d!Ⴈɟ/ʇәu˙ʌɹәႡs˙ʍʍʍ//:dʇʇႡ <— ɹoʇɐɹәuәƃ ʇxәʇ әsn
These suck April 29, 2011 At 7:40 am

fish can drown dumbass. drowning means not being able to breath. nothing to do with water
Kellstar79 April 28, 2011 At 6:44 pm

its a function on an app on iphone
awesomechick April 28, 2011 At 12:41 pm

haha i like it <3
Piddyx April 28, 2011 At 12:16 pm

In hell they don’t leave either.
Hannahmr April 28, 2011 At 12:09 pm

You have a problem with me… solve it, you say I’m tpipen… tie my shoe, you cant stand me… sit down, you cant face me… turn arounde
Omg_its_harley April 28, 2011 At 6:22 am

and they dont give you herpies 🙂
Jacqui Ali April 28, 2011 At 5:08 am

ive used theses comments alll month!!!
alyssa April 28, 2011 At 1:39 am

woow break my heart steal my love well sorry to tell you now im sailing away you lost me. now dont try to find me im gone goodbye see ya later.
Lukemyers82 April 27, 2011 At 2:19 pm

facebook….. helping stalkers everywhere since 2004…..
???????? April 27, 2011 At 11:10 am

LIKE THIS I”LL TELL WHO AM I ^________________________________^
Pam April 27, 2011 At 6:31 am

What is wrong with you?
Pam April 27, 2011 At 6:29 am

Haha that was kind of funny. I’ve seen better tho.
Dillion Henson April 27, 2011 At 5:47 am

Can we have refunds?
Mandy April 26, 2011 At 5:24 pm

He wants you to say “I eat 4 skin (foreskin)”..lol
Skuzza_002 April 26, 2011 At 1:03 pm

Roses are red violets are black,
girl your chest is as flat as you back
its me bobby April 26, 2011 At 8:37 am

Relationships are like fat people most of them dont work out.
Peter Shen April 26, 2011 At 9:22 am

I don’t get it? 🙂
Nguyenphan1395 April 25, 2011 At 8:55 am

but violence will leave marks that are permanent solution
Sneha April 25, 2011 At 8:19 am

plz tel me how to do it..i didn get that
Daddyslittlegirl_11 April 25, 2011 At 4:48 am

cool
Tashaa13 April 24, 2011 At 9:09 pm

Roses are red, violets are blue, a face like yours, belongs in the zoo, don’t be mad, i’ll be there, not in the cage, but laughing at you.
Taylor Hicks April 24, 2011 At 8:06 pm

That may be but only in heavan, those gals never leave you.
Jordanegrete69 April 24, 2011 At 8:56 am

yo what up people
Matt_murder April 24, 2011 At 5:58 am

Please diposit 25 cents to view my status (:
Georgia Cruz April 24, 2011 At 5:40 am

This is so hilarious!!!!!
pornyy April 24, 2011 At 1:21 am

damn when people say deyy sick….dey mean deyy hornyy….
porny April 24, 2011 At 1:18 am

really..
Hellodaniela94 April 23, 2011 At 10:20 pm

I can;t believe i used to like that guy. Gasp!
Erin Ernest April 23, 2011 At 3:53 am

love is like poison, deadly but also sensitive like an egg.
jason33 April 22, 2011 At 7:33 pm

what would it matter if suicide is a crime? ur dead…not like u can go to jail..
i-dont-get-it April 22, 2011 At 4:56 am

i dont get it?
Jessysmith747 April 21, 2011 At 7:35 pm

ʎlɹo
Chris F April 21, 2011 At 9:56 am

¡ǝɯıʇ ǝɯɐs ǝɥʇ ʇɐ ʞooqǝɔɐɟ ǝsn puɐ puɐʇspuɐɥ ɐ op ʎןןɐuıɟ uɐɔ
Chels=ME April 21, 2011 At 3:20 am

Boy: So, sex at my place?
Girl: Yah!
Boy: OK, but I sleep in a bunk bed with my younger brother and he thinks we’re making sandwiches so this is the code. Cheese= Faster. Tomato= Harder.
Girl: OK?
~Later~
…Girl: CHEESE CHEESE TOMATO CHEESE!
Brother: Stop making sandwiches! You’re getting mayo all over my bed!
Like if you get it ;D
kb201 April 21, 2011 At 2:22 am

When life gives you AIDS, make lemon-aids.
javier April 21, 2011 At 12:18 am

why dont all of u just hop off of justins dick
Lushhii x April 20, 2011 At 11:24 pm

dance. Dance god damn it! DANCE! DANCE LIKE UVE NEVER DANCED BEFORE! DANCE LIKE THEIRS NO TOMORROW! DANCE LIKE NOBODY IS PUTTING THIS ON YOUTUBE!
Lushhii x April 20, 2011 At 11:19 pm

is wondering what “flavoured milkshake” “”brings all the boys to the yard””
Lushhii x April 20, 2011 At 11:11 pm

your makeup looks like uve been gangbanged by crayola
gingersarecool.LOL.jk April 20, 2011 At 10:26 pm

i’m ginger… and i take the piss out of other ginger people.. and there like WOAHH… but your ginger as well…. and its just like yeah but i don’t give a flying fly….
Jajuanford April 20, 2011 At 6:47 pm

Now a tanned Ginger is a different story…. 🙂
bear April 20, 2011 At 4:52 pm

Take life as it comes in your face and runs down your chin.
Raeesa-muhammed-x April 20, 2011 At 3:53 pm

lol these are well funny x
Ilikepuffcheese April 20, 2011 At 8:41 am

LMAO
that’s hilarious!
Misscarlysue April 20, 2011 At 8:10 am

I met him, I’m not an obsessed fan. I just met the boy when he came to atl. He is just a person. Actually he was pretty genuine. Honestly, people who are low enough to trash Justin Bieber do not have lives. Because, Justin doesn’t care, you’re wasting your time 🙂 follow me on twitter @misscarlysue if you wanna se my pic with him 🙂
Amanda Roee April 20, 2011 At 6:14 am

Phttt; love this one. remembers the day when blackberry and apple were just fruit.
Pinkpzazz April 20, 2011 At 4:37 am

how did u do that?????
Baseball12326 April 20, 2011 At 1:32 am

If life is such a bitch , Why do 97% of Men Marry one ??
Xxbeshnxx April 20, 2011 At 1:23 am

i love how, in scary movies, the person yells out, “Hello?” As if the bad guy is gonna be like, “Yeah, I`m in the kitchen! Want a sandwich?”
lee April 19, 2011 At 10:17 pm

HA fight the world..
yoyoyoyoyo. April 19, 2011 At 3:55 pm

When you see a status saying; * just deleted heaps of friends off facebook* reading it and feeling like jesus.
Tjn52 April 19, 2011 At 3:23 pm

I think it’s great that “Playing with your Wee/Wii” has 2 meanings! But only one is required to use two hands!
Tjn52 April 19, 2011 At 3:19 pm

Next time your “making love” try screaming your own name!
Tjn52 April 19, 2011 At 3:16 pm

If women are like wine, doesn’t that mean you need to place them in a cool dark cellar like room for 10 or so years! Whoever thought of that is sick!!
Tjn52 April 19, 2011 At 3:15 pm

I just found out my Grandpa has alzheimer’s…. He’s totally cool with it. He gets to meet new people everyday!
Trish delaney April 19, 2011 At 1:36 pm

You can steal my status updates if you like, but I lick every single one before I post them.
hahaha ginga April 19, 2011 At 9:44 am

damn straight. whats ginger, cute and pregnant? NOTHING
Paintedroses April 19, 2011 At 7:59 am

WOW, geniussssssss 8) 😀 I bet those who liked this wanted to be able to think of an awesome sentence like that as well 🙂 HAHAHA.
Tierra Spooner April 19, 2011 At 4:16 am

only loser loose dope
Tori (: April 19, 2011 At 1:14 am

You don’t have to like me, I’m not a facebook status (;
Steven Donovan April 19, 2011 At 4:57 am

Love that one
Toni:) April 18, 2011 At 12:52 pm

*BLOND GOES TO THE DOCTOR TO FIND OUT IF SHE IS PREGNENT*
Doctor: your pregnent
Blond: *smiles* 🙂
Doctor: your having twins
Blond: *crys*
Doctor: is’ant that good?
Blond: i dont know who the father is for the other baby
Doctor: ……

LUCKY IM A BRUNETTE !!!!!!!
TAYLOR13 April 18, 2011 At 11:50 am

DAMN THIS IS SO FUNNY
Ep37659 April 18, 2011 At 1:45 am

Is so cool that the Aztec predicted his birth
Urmom April 18, 2011 At 12:44 am

facebook = fail gcse’s but worth it
Kaitlyn Hiatt April 17, 2011 At 9:54 pm

its not fair how people and dogs are mammals and yet they can reach their nose with their tougue with absolutly no effort…
Elliemaeshaw.x April 17, 2011 At 7:38 pm

I had Voldemort around for curry and beer last night.. I woke up to find that the cheeky bugger had left a dark mark in the toilet..
Macky841 April 17, 2011 At 3:40 pm

good guys get heaven , bt bad guys get gals
fran waite April 17, 2011 At 2:00 pm

As a former joker I think we need more status that are funny and less that make you want to kill yourself
Jackilalovezyou April 17, 2011 At 4:08 am

Violence is not the answer, it is the question and the answer is yes
FcuknPrincess April 17, 2011 At 2:55 am

Lmfao. Tuche’ grasshoppa Tuche’
Kylie April 16, 2011 At 6:31 pm

What they meant was that they’re sp used to FB, that when they were on MSN they tried to like their friends status. You can’t like a person’s MSN update/status.

* “Like” in this sense is used as a noun*
Lauryn Doll Baby April 16, 2011 At 6:00 pm

Love em! Starring them in my arsenal.
AfricanQueen April 16, 2011 At 11:11 am

HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHA tht jst made maa dayy :’D
Sora Kuran April 16, 2011 At 8:44 am

i just ♥ ’emm
somedude April 16, 2011 At 3:17 am

Life’s a bitch, if it were a slut it’d be so much easier.
Hannah April 15, 2011 At 9:43 pm

Just deleted 100 friends… if you are reading this congrats my friend
hehehehe April 15, 2011 At 7:00 pm

im ginger and even i think i don’t have a soul!!! 😀
adam April 15, 2011 At 5:53 pm

funny :L
Quinettewinston April 15, 2011 At 3:11 pm

inw rite
Qinettewinston April 15, 2011 At 3:09 pm

i knw rite they all ways want to fight
Quinettewinston April 15, 2011 At 3:08 pm

hey my people what have yll been up to
Lucylou1234 April 15, 2011 At 1:03 pm

Heeeheee, These are so funny!! xx
emerson April 15, 2011 At 12:59 pm

¿ʍouʞ noʎ ˙ ʎllıs ʎɹǝʌ ʞool noʎ ¡ʇɐɥʇ ǝʞıl ǝɯ ʇɐ ƃuıʞool doʇs
Hazel Waldron April 15, 2011 At 12:08 pm

When life gives you lemons…add tequila!
FinnickLover<3 April 15, 2011 At 11:43 am

okay, im only commenting cos i want people to ‘like’ this comment. 🙂

(awkward turtle) :/
dylan April 15, 2011 At 5:33 am

birds pee and poop at the same time, so would that mean they poose out of there vass
Tom April 15, 2011 At 12:45 am

Im Ginger, And I find it all Funny. Aka banter. So Gingers who get upset by this – Man Up x
Sabrinapriyamungal April 14, 2011 At 9:07 pm

Relationships are like Tom & Jerry: They tease each other, knock down each other, irritate each other, but can’t live without each other.
Sabrinapriyamungal April 14, 2011 At 9:05 pm

In front of u boys say they love u ,they care,bout u ,they cant do witout u ,they wil never leave u ,n d main 1 they wil never horn u………but cum on girls tell me wat r they reli sayin behind u……..
CitizenSlyder April 13, 2011 At 6:25 pm

violence is not the answer only a temporary solution, read that on wikipedia somewhere
CitizenSlyder April 13, 2011 At 6:25 pm

violence is not the answer only a temporary solution, read that on wikipedia somewhere
Little Princess April 13, 2011 At 11:20 am

If the world was fair, Elvis Presley would still be alive and all the impersonators would be dead 😉
Little Princess April 13, 2011 At 11:20 am

If the world was fair, Elvis Presley would still be alive and all the impersonators would be dead 😉
ginger beater April 13, 2011 At 2:45 am

wtf get over it, we kno u have no soul
ginger beater April 13, 2011 At 2:45 am

wtf get over it, we kno u have no soul
Xo Amandaa- April 13, 2011 At 2:27 am

how can you make orange juice with lemons ?
Xo Amandaa- April 13, 2011 At 2:27 am

how can you make orange juice with lemons ?
beekang April 13, 2011 At 1:59 am

NICE! can’t stop smiling!
Carla April 13, 2011 At 1:06 am

marisa would you just shut your ugly ass mouth for once. all you have been doing is bashing people and calling out their typos, not everyone can be as perfect as you, so just shut up already, damn! how old are you anyway? you are so childish, and its pathetic. you seriously need to grow up and just enjoy the website.
Destinymcleod89 April 13, 2011 At 12:59 am

somebdy jus ticked you off or your realyy hapyy abt something innapropiate and you wanna post it.. lalalala BLOCKK all family members & the ones close to them buhahahah. ! [[♥]] it. !
shelly April 12, 2011 At 3:47 pm

i don’t understand..
Bosco Singson April 12, 2011 At 6:37 am

˙˙˙˙˙pǝƃuɐɥɔ ʎpɐǝɹɐ sı ǝlƃuɐ ǝɥʇ ǝɔuǝʇuǝs sıɥʇ ʇou ɥsılooɟ ˙˙˙˙ǝlƃuɐ ʇuǝɹǝɟɟıp ɯoɹɟ plɹoʍ ǝɥʇ ʞool
Ashley April 12, 2011 At 12:06 am

i know right, im a redhead and some annoying girl is like are u a ginger and crap : /
LOL April 11, 2011 At 11:07 pm

LOL a crayon… ((̲̅ ̲̅(̲̅C̲̅r̲̅a̲̅y̲̅o̲̅l̲̲̅̅a̲̅( ̲̅̅((>
LOL April 11, 2011 At 11:02 pm

laugh if someone does that and it actually lands on the edge..
Ericacarter96 April 11, 2011 At 9:17 pm

i did the maceraina with my best friends boyfriend sliding down a hill wereing a green shirt because i am NOT crazie :)(:
Doga April 11, 2011 At 8:30 pm

When a man becomes rich he becomes bad,and when a woman becomes bad she becomes rich 🙂
Markscroggins April 11, 2011 At 7:19 pm

If it wasnt for X i never would have cheated on my gf…
Angelskye April 11, 2011 At 3:34 pm

marisa needs to be punched in the face =) and everyone who keeps talking about beiberrrrr shut the hell up!!!
Angelskye April 11, 2011 At 3:32 pm

oh shutup marisa im trying to read jokes because im effin* bored and your making me hate my day even more with your annoying comments!!! if u seen justin beiber right now i bet u money youd try to suck him up soooo SHUUUTTTT THE HELL UPP !!
Kiera Lovindisnigga Moorer April 11, 2011 At 3:49 am

Ok ighet it ! lolszxs !dats funnie!
Jacobitilley April 10, 2011 At 7:08 pm

lol yha it does lmao!!!
bananna April 10, 2011 At 7:01 pm

NOOOO!! WHen life gives you lemons, eat them, and then make sour faces at life.
Brendan Wojtecki April 10, 2011 At 8:27 am

lolololol!!!! got 2 of tehm
inlove April 9, 2011 At 11:54 pm

I wish you could be a status, so i could like you
run April 9, 2011 At 7:49 pm

life’s a bitch.. and then you marrie one !!
hhkbnuvyt April 9, 2011 At 8:03 am

nice
Lady-vols April 9, 2011 At 1:46 am

is wondering why there is braille on a drive-through ATM machine.
C_BURGZ April 9, 2011 At 1:38 am

nobody dies a virgin, life fucks everyone
Sweetsanju_8 April 8, 2011 At 4:42 pm

Last Night I Dreamt I was Eating A Giant Marshmallow……..When I Woke Up My Pillow Was Gone!
Rachel Rose April 8, 2011 At 5:09 pm

i learned that if life gives u melon, then ur prolly dyslexic
brittanysuckaa April 8, 2011 At 2:34 am

that looks like a tampon.
Anonymous April 8, 2011 At 2:24 am

There are 10 kinds of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don’t.
Lindonarmsrong99 April 7, 2011 At 3:19 pm

I eat 1 skin, u eat 2 skin, i eat 3 skin,… what do u eat?
Luisa Queen April 7, 2011 At 2:16 pm

I was on MSN and went to like my friends update….. This is getting obsessive…. :L
saurabh rauthan April 7, 2011 At 1:32 pm

you can call me a flinston cause i can make ur bed rock
Sambson April 7, 2011 At 12:39 pm

I have brown hair. But I’m still shocked by the racism against red-haired people! IMHO ‘ginger’ jokes should be considered racist jokes and treated accordingly.
Danny April 7, 2011 At 3:27 am

In England it’s Called Football and WE Invented it..you Yanks just cant say it proper so you changed the name … And We call it Soccer too…Ho and your SO CALLED football was Invented by US to.. Rugby ??…
England 2 The Yanks 0 .. Full Time no flags on play..
Jayde Wilson April 7, 2011 At 6:07 am

NOO when life hands you lemons you squirt in someones eye. They cant see you so why bother running ??
Anton April 7, 2011 At 12:12 am

dont hate on bellybottons. if you think you’re smarter.. just remember you googled ‘funny facebook status’ too.
Anton April 6, 2011 At 11:57 pm

You coud do.. even if i put you as a status.. still no one would like you
Soccerbj01 April 6, 2011 At 11:40 pm

trimming her “bush”
Natanis Whitney April 6, 2011 At 7:24 pm

i know three facts about you, one you can’t say M without your lips touching, two your trying it now and you look like an idiot alien, three now your smiling
J3siwolf April 6, 2011 At 4:53 pm

where do pirates eat lunch??????????? arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrby’s
Akshay April 6, 2011 At 2:29 pm

I Hate When FAceBook Asks Whtz On UR mind.. Coz Itz Always “U” N I Wld Neva Want To Share “U” !! 🙂
D-rizzle April 6, 2011 At 6:05 am

B/c if you bring it up..you are crazy and we want to know waaaaaay up front lol
Stepharoni April 6, 2011 At 1:30 am

I tried to log on to Facebook. It said, “Cookies are required to operate.” I thought to myself, “Me too, Facebook. Me too.”
SINcitySEAL April 6, 2011 At 1:17 am

idk, dolphins are pretty smart.
Sweetgirl_ April 6, 2011 At 5:12 am

is having a concussion by being a real Russian! (do not touch Vodka if you Can’t Drink it..)
Duhhh April 6, 2011 At 3:43 am

No, it means half of that one person eats it
I carez April 6, 2011 At 3:43 am

I carez
Dor April 6, 2011 At 3:41 am

I dont get it
Jdawg! April 6, 2011 At 3:40 am

Lol i posted all of these
Kasha Alverson-Minyard April 5, 2011 At 10:34 pm

Have you ever looked at someone and thought to yourself “Dude, that’s the sperm that won???”
Craicmon April 5, 2011 At 3:47 pm

Forever alone…
Ed Gibson April 5, 2011 At 9:27 am

hahahahahahahahahaah
Ulquiorra11 April 5, 2011 At 9:27 am

hahahahahahahahhahah
Z28m3z06 April 5, 2011 At 8:39 am

Hahah yes, bottle blondes are the “dumb blondes” it’s all this fumes they inhale!!
sh80 April 5, 2011 At 7:13 am

procrastinators UNITE………….. but not right now
Catanojordan April 5, 2011 At 6:45 am

Why am i reading these status posts??
Trenthjohnston April 5, 2011 At 4:15 am

get a life
Trent jay April 5, 2011 At 4:13 am

your friggin stupid. our history is the reason why your in the place you r right now
suckaaa April 5, 2011 At 12:24 am

x wonders what the guy that discovered milk was thinking to do with the cow….
Hottiearlet April 4, 2011 At 9:54 pm

Elementary School- *crying* I DIDN`T DO MY HOMEWORK!!! .. Middle School- I didn`t do it… .. High School- We had homework?
batman40 April 4, 2011 At 8:10 pm

Well i going to bed….. so if u need someone to talk to. Dicks still up. Goodnight!!!!!!
batman40 April 4, 2011 At 1:45 pm

lol i clean my shoes just saying lol
Johndoerayme April 4, 2011 At 9:35 am

you’re just SO popular now
Sarah April 3, 2011 At 9:30 am

I WOULD PUNCH YOU BUT WHY WOULD I IMPROVE UR LOOKS????!! 🙂
ihatehistory April 3, 2011 At 12:53 am

… but true
Read “lies my teacher told me”
123hotfri April 2, 2011 At 8:14 am

stfu
Dramagurly April 2, 2011 At 5:15 am

i have CDO. its just like OCD except the letters are in alphabetical order…like the should be.
Dramagurly April 2, 2011 At 5:14 am

soo today i went to IKEA and hid in the wardrobes. and everytime the opened the doors i welcomed them to Narnia[: haa
Dramagurly[: April 2, 2011 At 5:09 am

i dont get it….lol
Russellcharles25 April 2, 2011 At 3:54 am

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babygirl April 2, 2011 At 12:06 am

these statuses are ttttttttttttttttttttttooooooooooooooooooooooooooo funny…. most of them i read i laughed at…… hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha…………………. ttttttttttttoooooooooooo fffffffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111
Excellenelly April 1, 2011 At 9:53 am

this is a facebook status not your life story mate k!
Excellenelly April 1, 2011 At 9:51 am

roses are red yr waffle is blue is blue
solt it out or no sex for you… lmfao.. xx
Jon Quinlan April 1, 2011 At 7:16 pm

you sound like the 1 who enjoys diarhea
Claire Macphee April 1, 2011 At 9:13 am

think about it for a couple os secs and then you will get it!!
Whocares April 1, 2011 At 5:31 am

I wonder what will happen if Steve Jobs dies…. His tombstone may read – iDead…
Bellboy55 April 1, 2011 At 2:51 am

But she’s not 12 DUMBASS. She is like 16
Bob The Fucktard April 1, 2011 At 2:41 am

how does this make sensed
twpercy April 1, 2011 At 1:49 am

get in the bowl and this page is funny
Lorrainekandiah March 31, 2011 At 3:30 pm

x is trimming her bush in the front garden, and dosent care who see”s!
SKANG* March 31, 2011 At 11:04 am

I WISH i could be a status, so you could LIKE me .
Someoneisinthere March 31, 2011 At 5:21 am

who cares? -_-
Chris March 30, 2011 At 11:26 pm

when life gives u lemons , u make orange juice(:
Yourmother;) March 31, 2011 At 3:34 am

Your make-up looks so pretty:) lol jk it looks like a crayola raped your face!!!
Gay4U March 31, 2011 At 3:28 am

that’s from daniel tosh asshole!
Tubbs March 31, 2011 At 1:58 am

X is as bored as a midget in a theme park
Funnyman1 March 31, 2011 At 12:51 am

Stupid… 81 of you who liked these are dumb kids.. Knowledge is power. Without knowledge, you’re just an animal.
Kory_2006 March 30, 2011 At 7:26 pm

That’s what she said!
iigetBIG March 30, 2011 At 8:25 am

everyone that hates him bases it on his voice and looks. he is a great singer no question about it. im a guy and i dont think he is gay at all. im more jealous then anything else because he has millions of ladies screaming his name. but haters will hate..
Taffytafolla123 March 30, 2011 At 5:35 am

#1 pick up line hey baby u want to TWITTER with my YAHOO until i GOOGLE all over ur FACEBOOK…. lol funny
Kim March 30, 2011 At 4:31 am

I kool
Gummyteddybearz March 30, 2011 At 12:24 am

X went to the grocery store today, told me to help her unpack the car, there was only one bag in the trunk.
Xxgrapeicexx March 28, 2011 At 7:05 pm

Puff Puff Pass (_̅_̲̲̲̲̲̅̅̅̅̅̅̅_̅__̅_̅_̅()~~~
Ata1july March 28, 2011 At 2:27 pm

i miss your laugh
i miss your jokes
i miss your gifts
i miss your comments on facebook
i miss everything of u
most of all
I MISS U
Ayeshatauqeer1998 March 28, 2011 At 2:21 pm

A student grabbed a coin,

Flipped it in the air & said,
Head, I go to sleep.

Tail, I watch a movie.

If it stands on the edge I’ll study:p
Ayeshatauqeer1998 March 28, 2011 At 2:20 pm

Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.
Ayeshatauqeer1998 March 28, 2011 At 2:18 pm

if a guy betrays u
tell the whole world tht you were to sexy for him, dnt ever tell tht he was too sexy for you
Ayeshatauqeer1998 March 28, 2011 At 2:16 pm

this is a funny joke

a kid got bad marks in his test
he showed his test to his mom
his mom said ” what is this”
he answered
teachers star stickers were finished so she gave me a full moon!!!

like if u understand and find it funny
Nicholas March 28, 2011 At 6:00 pm

And I want to put the stick IN your ass
Sergio March 28, 2011 At 5:52 am

X just got a ticket for driver inattention.
Jellobeanmean March 28, 2011 At 4:08 am

✄ I wish my lawn was emo… so it would cut it’s self!
alvare11 March 27, 2011 At 9:11 pm

Do u even know what SEXIST means? If u do ur not using it right…
Lilmexicanboy March 27, 2011 At 7:37 pm

wackk lol
Allybluvschu March 27, 2011 At 3:39 am

—Blank—
rajat March 27, 2011 At 2:54 am

I thinks my neighbor just caught me stealing his Wi-Fi internet
Dbidlack16 March 27, 2011 At 12:08 am

Bubblegum doesn’t melt…
Alyssa March 26, 2011 At 11:26 pm

Oh wow thats Lammmmeeeeee
Kaykayswiss90 March 26, 2011 At 11:00 pm

your hairs really long when its wet..i just got a haircut…. your hairs really long when its wet.
Koby March 26, 2011 At 4:38 pm

owned
Mariana(; March 26, 2011 At 3:53 pm

im a girl and i lovee this some people need to take the stick out of there ass. i think its the best one i saw so far(: keep it up =]
bfcknrzl March 26, 2011 At 12:51 am

Well played sir…well played
bfcknrzl March 26, 2011 At 12:47 am

They go to school, then shower in the bed and sleep in the stall.
Dan March 25, 2011 At 1:12 pm

Would you rather throw Skittles in the air and shout ‘Taste the Rainbow!’ or peg M&M’s at someone and scream at them “GET IN THE BOWL!”??
Crystal45 March 24, 2011 At 11:54 pm

not nice
Ddrewbe March 24, 2011 At 9:19 pm

yes it does you dumbass
MrBeto March 24, 2011 At 6:55 pm

Go make me a sandwich…
Sureiyn March 24, 2011 At 2:46 pm

Why can’t children watch pirate movies? Because they it’s rated Rrrrr
Delano March 24, 2011 At 11:55 am

your nose…not you’re nose
Manbearpigman March 24, 2011 At 9:55 am

manbearpig is the other 5%
Bor3d2010 March 24, 2011 At 9:23 am

Its Funny Because all the girls liked this 🙂
Mr Chubbz March 24, 2011 At 8:46 am

yea it does
Guy March 24, 2011 At 8:44 am

Awesome i am going to use I was going to kill the sexiest person alive and… you know the rest
witmaster March 24, 2011 At 8:03 am

in many countries football is soccer…Duh…
Upbuttcocanut567 March 24, 2011 At 6:46 am

just to shut him up (3 <insert———-8)
Jeremy March 24, 2011 At 6:37 am

I think that leaving a bunch of people scratching their heads was the point. Thanks for ruining it lol
Afton March 24, 2011 At 5:57 am

I think you should make him the sandwhich Victor, then finish up with giving him an erection 😉
annoyance March 24, 2011 At 3:11 am

reading these comments 🙂
Fuzzymonkey15 March 24, 2011 At 1:31 am

■If guys had periods, they’d brag about the size of their tampons.
Goldy_swiss March 23, 2011 At 10:36 pm

why girls alwz write status sigle even glz in relationship
kyle March 23, 2011 At 2:29 pm

lol..
Dougo1974 March 20, 2011 At 4:56 am

its a joke dill hole!!! lightenup!!!
Elizabeth(: March 20, 2011 At 5:35 am

u know whats better than 24………………..25(:
AmazinglyAmazing March 20, 2011 At 4:39 am

whats the point of history? no one cares about dead people! half of the facts arent true anyways.
Nina March 20, 2011 At 1:52 am

i’m guessing you’re a brunette died blonde ?
Nina March 20, 2011 At 1:50 am

SHUT UP, with your “sexist pig” comments. get over it already.
Nina March 20, 2011 At 1:43 am

whoawhoawhoa, there was no need for that. it was a joke. all guys do it. like chill. damn….. if you didn’t like it scroll the down and leave it be. seriously.
Victor March 19, 2011 At 8:24 pm

See what you did Mairsa? You just killed any possibility of an erection. Now you need to make him a sandwich.
Skylar March 19, 2011 At 1:49 pm

I don’t see how Helen Keller jokes are even remotely funny..
Rottenlove March 19, 2011 At 12:53 pm

That charlie sheen joke is totally mine back off
Screamo2422 March 19, 2011 At 9:16 am

don’t be a drag, just be a queen whether you’re broke or charlie sheen
WickedClown113 March 19, 2011 At 4:12 am

Hahaha He is probably from england. Football is soccer over there.
Baseball March 19, 2011 At 3:45 am

being gay is like the weirdest and dumbest thing evr u retard
hsc84 March 19, 2011 At 2:23 am

Lame
Angela Betsey Bradshaw March 19, 2011 At 1:11 am

i kind of agree but mainly its the naturals that are idiots, i think the brunettes are just stupid for dying their hair blonde.
Simpsons_ashton March 19, 2011 At 12:25 am

Is that you’re nose or are you Eating a Banana?
Notusingmyemail March 17, 2011 At 7:07 am

what about the other 5%
Lil_munskin_121 March 17, 2011 At 7:00 am

Sometimes i fill up my blow up doll with helium so its playing hard to get.
Guest March 17, 2011 At 6:29 am

Thats so not true. its the blondes that dye their hair brown are stupid
Anonymous March 17, 2011 At 4:41 am

that doesnt make sense
guest...x March 17, 2011 At 2:00 am

go compare, go compare give me a bat to hit the twat at go compare
Courtney_moore1222 March 17, 2011 At 1:35 am

Alot of these comments helped me out BIG TIME. Now everybody comments on my status, thanks guys … ,(:
Reenmorgan March 16, 2011 At 9:59 pm

Yeah you douche!
Willyman23 March 16, 2011 At 9:54 pm

i was R10 short of being your father
LadyFalcon March 16, 2011 At 9:27 pm

football has a goalkeeper in england sweetie
Davidjagodic March 15, 2011 At 10:43 pm

roses are red violets are blue i have a knife get in the van 🙂
Dustyjo March 15, 2011 At 10:26 pm

if 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrehea…does that mean one person enjoys it?
Msdaisteli March 15, 2011 At 7:01 pm

dude i dont like justin beaver or whatever his name is but why get all worked up about it dude go get laid lmfao!
Jb_fagot March 15, 2011 At 2:27 pm

not a little boy!!!get it righ!!! a little girl!!!!
Bellybuttons923 March 15, 2011 At 8:30 am

why do we need school???
music~we have YouTube for that.
Spanish ~i watch Dora.
English ~everything is shortened anyway (brb,idk,lol).
geography~i will buy a globe.
history~they are all dead anyway.
math~that is why we have the calculator.
spelling~we have spell check on the computer.
🙂
Abdul Gaber March 15, 2011 At 4:36 am

More like “screaming HER name…”
Bm_rebecca M March 15, 2011 At 2:46 am

i go to talk to the lawn to tell it not to be scared of the lawn mower
Bm_rebecca M March 15, 2011 At 2:11 am

lol so funny ,,,,, remembers the day when blackberry and apple were just fruit ,,, they where the days lol
Lindsey2014 March 14, 2011 At 11:47 pm

your a fag
JustinBieber<3 March 14, 2011 At 6:47 pm

Dude… he is too attractive, and super talented. He got found on YOUTUBE! Just realize that there is no one that has a voice like that. And plus he just matured and his voice got deeper. And I bet your voice was just as high when you were 12. AND DUDE!!!! He gets SELENA GOMEZ! Like seriously, shes GORGEOUS!! So shut up and mind your own buisness, kay?
pringleprincess101 March 14, 2011 At 9:47 am

-if you have noticed this notice you will hav noticed that this notice isnt worth noticing
-life was much easier when apples and blackberries were just fruits
-its so simple to be wise. just think of something stupid to say and dont say it.
-STUPID: Smart Talented Unique Person In Demand
-if aliens are looking for intelligent life?!WHY THE HECK ARE YOU SCARED!!!
-stop being so stupid…its my turn.
-everyone is stupid. dont abuse the privilege.
Samira Podbicanin March 14, 2011 At 8:43 am

No one cares if you’re going to shower, bed, than school tomorrow…because I’m pretty sure that’s what 95% of us are doing… -_-

^^^I love thisss O_o
Lilbittah2001 March 14, 2011 At 6:18 am

So awesome:))
Rose Eardley March 14, 2011 At 3:13 am

heres one for ya… one day a chicken croxed the road and met james bond and said whats your name?? ….bond james bond… whats yours??..ken chick ken
jayme March 14, 2011 At 2:59 am

lol
Luckycharm193 March 14, 2011 At 2:09 am

anybody downing justin bieber is just jealous they didnt make it that far and have millions of girls drooling over them.
sikurgheu March 14, 2011 At 12:45 am

this is wierd my dad made this joke up 30 years ago!
Sara96_x March 13, 2011 At 10:19 pm

The awkward moment when someone mentions JUSTIN BARBIE and all hell breaks loose . just no . 🙂
Andjelika1060 March 13, 2011 At 10:02 pm

Ahahahahahaha L-O-V-E this 😀
Vashawn D Nash March 13, 2011 At 4:48 pm

ahah
Blah! :) March 13, 2011 At 2:54 pm

Lmao damn it was a joke calm down ppl lol you like him that’s cool lol but I don’t and that just me 😛
Marisa March 13, 2011 At 11:25 am

draggingggggg outttt yourrrrrrr wordssssss doesn’tttttttt makeeeeee youuuuuuu seemmmmmmmm coollll, itttt justtttt makessssss youuuuuuu seemmmmm likeeeee yourrrrrr keyboarddddddd keysssssss keeppppp gettingggggggg stuckkkkkkkk….
Marisa March 13, 2011 At 11:18 am

Yup, we totally copied you when kicking your ass in the war.
Marisa March 13, 2011 At 11:13 am

You see how only one person liked this? Yeah that is because you are an idiot. And a sexist pig. So make your own Damn Sandwich, lazy ass. You can go ahead and play with yourself too, because with that kind of comment, your not getting a girl in your bed anytime soon.
Marisa March 13, 2011 At 11:08 am

Not all blonde’s are stupid you know…. not natural blondes anyways. Usually the idiots are the brunnettes that dye their hair blonde.
Marisa March 13, 2011 At 10:54 am

football does not have a goal keeper………. soccer does…… just so you know you sexist pig.
Marisa March 13, 2011 At 10:45 am

Calm yourself…. It is not a dis on your precious Justine Beaver, it is just a joke to make people laugh. By the way, in this situation, you would use the word “were” not where…. please go back to your third grade english class. Just a suggestion. ;D
Darkhaven16 March 13, 2011 At 9:42 am

you know what i think is hilarious? the fact that he lost HALF of his fans just for cutting his hair….. now THAT is devotion for ya! ;P (you caught on to the sarcasm in that comment right?)
Marisa March 13, 2011 At 9:35 am

No, i’m pretty sure no one is jealous…. why do people keep on insisting that just because you don’t like someone means that you are envious of them?
Marisa March 13, 2011 At 9:32 am

Yeeeessss! of course I am soooooooo jealous of a fugly, self-centered boy who uses voice auditors. You lose a life. Would you like to try again?
Joshuawithyou March 13, 2011 At 3:35 am

allow not being able to go watch your own movie just because its rated 12….poor justin beiber LOL
Slapap12 March 12, 2011 At 11:56 pm

This country is due for another civil war …Nascar
Fans are out of control
Shane March 12, 2011 At 5:05 pm

WHO CARES IF HE IS GAY?! it’s not a bad thing to be gay anymore dude!!!!
Maddy Grimm March 12, 2011 At 4:48 am

Leave Justin Bieber alone! *She just wants to live *Her life to the fullest!
Pixie_fairy98 March 11, 2011 At 2:09 pm

Best punishment to a boy:
Give him a mobile phone, with lots of balance and girls phone numbers and leave him at a place where there is no network.
Whispernsilence March 11, 2011 At 5:16 am

Onto Facebook, you are both wrong.
Miss_caitlyn91 March 11, 2011 At 12:42 am

you guys are all fags, and u all need to get a life.
decepticon March 10, 2011 At 8:37 am

your not famous either , so who are you to say u wish u were famous when your just another average person like the rest of us here ? and whos to say he has done something to make people dislike him , most people just dont like him not only that but his music and gay hairstyle 2 , simple as that.
Nata_loca1025 March 10, 2011 At 6:11 am

You stupid hater! Just beacuse you are wasting your time at your house posting stupid comments about him while he’s out there making million$$$..! Get a life… Or better yet… GET A JOB!
grlnblak March 9, 2011 At 9:52 pm

WHY is EVERYONE picking on justin Bieber?? LEAVE her ALONE!! She didnt do ANYTHING to you!! 😛
Sam March 9, 2011 At 8:40 pm

How much coke has Charlie Sheen done?……………enough to kill 2 1/2 men….
Katenka_uk March 9, 2011 At 8:48 am

no yogurt can last that long.lol
Sartaj Hanspal March 9, 2011 At 6:30 am

Amzing! just awsome!
Jbreezy1230 March 9, 2011 At 2:34 am

friend: dude, accidents don;t happen, it’s impossible.

me: umm, they do happen, i can tell you of a accident right now if you asked me.

friend: and what is that?

me: well…………..-thinks-…..ohh yeah…YOU
Jbreezy1230 March 9, 2011 At 2:34 am

friend: dude, accidents don;t happen, it’s impossible.

me: umm, they do happen, i can tell you of a accident right now if you asked me.

friend: and what is that?

me: well…………..-thinks-…..ohh yeah…YOU
***A*** March 8, 2011 At 3:59 am

WTF! u all are crazy people! if he ever wants someone to care for him he would probably ask!!! now live ur lives and don’t get really pissed on people who just like to joke!
Rochele2464 March 8, 2011 At 3:21 am

you got that from a famous quote! >:(
Rochele2464 March 8, 2011 At 3:21 am

you got that from a famous quote! >:(
Habiki_bloodplus21 March 8, 2011 At 3:20 am

how about.. you shut your mouth, justin bieber is a fag, and looks and sounds like a little boy,
A LITTLE BOY. thats so unnatractive.
maniacc March 8, 2011 At 2:40 am

I think all girls should have douche bag radar, so we knew which guys to stay away from 😉
BAHAHA March 8, 2011 At 7:53 am

your a fail, stop dissing soviet russia….because SOVIET RUSSIA WILL DISS YOU!
SovietRussia March 8, 2011 At 7:52 am

haha AWESOME
Minni-jay-damant1444 March 8, 2011 At 4:23 am

why so disrespectful?
GROW A PAIR. and have some respect aiight thanks.
Bay_B_Doll420247 March 7, 2011 At 10:42 pm

JESUS LOVES YOU! Everyone else thinks you’re an asshole.
NecroDruidd March 7, 2011 At 8:59 pm

That is awesome, but you have a bunch of people scratching there head. lol. For the non binaray people, 1 + 1 = 10
Chadmcnealjr1 March 7, 2011 At 8:52 am

no real human likes justin bieber…
ZachJF March 7, 2011 At 12:45 am

yeah, and i know a two year old who has better grammar skills than you…
Xxmikekirslisxx March 6, 2011 At 11:10 pm

whats warm wet pink on the inside and melts in your mouth? get your mind out of the gutter, the answer was bubble gum you douche.
Guest March 6, 2011 At 8:37 pm

look at how many likes you have and how many likes the guy below you has….
Piano_gurl March 6, 2011 At 8:36 pm

um no.
Piano_gurl March 6, 2011 At 8:35 pm

dude i don’t care about whatever these whores say, i agree with you! Justin Bieber is a fag and needs to grow up. these are our opinions and if you don’t like them deal with it. because we don’t give a shit about yours.
Hanna March 6, 2011 At 8:12 pm

*h
Her
replyer =D March 6, 2011 At 6:22 pm

australia
8181eilime March 6, 2011 At 10:58 am

thats great. who cares what the other girls say. im a girl, and i think he is too. hahaha once again, great.
Cookiemonster123196 March 6, 2011 At 10:05 am

sometimes i remember to forget things
Sam Potatos Scott March 6, 2011 At 6:22 am

nice
just trollin by:) March 6, 2011 At 4:14 am

you guys do know justin bieber really is truely a fag. right? and face it, NONE of you will ever have a chance with him, or to meet him, because you are too obsessed. so get a life and forget the homo:D
Ash_elizabeth32 March 5, 2011 At 9:56 pm

I dont understand why you have to be rude about it… wow If the rest of the world was as rude as you were id be scared for our generation…
SpaceBound<3 March 5, 2011 At 7:04 pm

its actually
*I called my ipod Titanic so that when I plug it into my computer and it says “syncing Titanic” and i press cancel, i feel like a hero 🙂
Alex Lukow March 5, 2011 At 9:46 am

no not really hes just annoying and he sounds like a girl?!!?!?!?!?!?!
Blah March 5, 2011 At 6:33 am

Wooooooow.
Paigeprine March 5, 2011 At 1:21 am

Dumb.
justsayingisall March 4, 2011 At 10:07 pm

I love how nobody liked your comment
Yo dawg March 4, 2011 At 9:29 pm

Wow guys for real??? LEAVE JUSTIN BEIBER ALONE! LEAVE HER ALONE!
Suck*It((: March 4, 2011 At 11:28 am

Or Yahoo!MyTwit
Chevellek20 March 4, 2011 At 2:30 am

he looks and sounds like a girl and i think anyone over the age of 10 who likes him is immature
Random March 4, 2011 At 2:23 am

stop talkin bout justin bieber on a random website. everyone has their own opinions me personally i think he shouldnt hv cut his hair
Jorgem Drizzy March 3, 2011 At 10:57 pm

the last one is extra gay lol
Lil_ria March 3, 2011 At 12:23 pm

Shoort Peeople Kiick Butt Butt Datt Izz Alll Wee Caan Reeach
Deltadude543 March 3, 2011 At 3:44 am

us guys have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see us without an erection, make us a sandwich ! 🙂
Emmel Roman Miñoza March 3, 2011 At 7:41 am

There are 10 types of people in this world. Those that understand Binary, and those that don’t 🙂
Emmel Roman Miñoza March 3, 2011 At 7:41 am

Teacher: Hey students, I encouraged you to join the amazing race. Take note, Its not just a race. It’s amazing.
Emmel Roman Miñoza March 3, 2011 At 7:37 am

Dear Mathematics, please grow and learn to solve your own problems and not to depend on others.
person March 3, 2011 At 6:11 am

hahahahaha
JB FOR EVVER ! ((: March 3, 2011 At 5:08 am

uhhmm , hun it is ** Bieber . Getta Lyfeeeee !
JB FOR EVVS ((: March 3, 2011 At 5:06 am

Really ?? GEET .A . LIFEE .Your jealous of the millions of girls OF ALL AGES screaming his name.
Tiakar1995 March 3, 2011 At 1:40 am

hehehe
The Awesomeness that is I March 2, 2011 At 8:35 am

HEY! That is so offensive to the Lezbians!!!
Ashley March 2, 2011 At 7:43 am

Wow…someone obviously didn’t get it
Freak0 March 2, 2011 At 6:23 am

justin beiber an’t got balls hes a girl
Imogeng99 March 2, 2011 At 3:30 am

thanks people for the funny status updates, shame people have to be twats and either be pathetic towards each other about popstars or make spelling corrections or just not get the jokes and need explanations. ruins the humour of it all. love the titanic one and the wheel chair one. all you other fuckers with no brains and no sense of humour should be banned from facebook!!
hahaha March 1, 2011 At 12:46 pm

its i can’t log on facebook……. not into facebook
Corvette March 1, 2011 At 6:19 am

it’s funny how obsessed the world is over him and he’s only a little kid.
Wolv_erine March 1, 2011 At 3:17 am

Justin bieber: DAD DAD i just had sex
Justin biebers dad: REALY!!!1 THATS SOO AWESOME SON
Justin bieber: i just have one question
J B’s dad: Whats that?
Justin bieber: when will my arse stop hurting
J B;s dad: -.- …
Kt February 28, 2011 At 1:52 am

unlike some people here, other people actually like justin bieber!! your just jealous because he looks better then u even will, and he is famous and ur not! so shut up
kt February 28, 2011 At 1:46 am

gosh, because some people actually like justin bieber…. u just jealous cuz justin bieber is famous and ur not 😛
Rose Dawson February 28, 2011 At 1:43 am

Jack! You’re alive!!!
Cutecheeks February 27, 2011 At 9:53 pm

take a chill pill
Jesus February 27, 2011 At 5:52 pm

Lifes A bitch because if it was a slut it would be easy (;
Vashawn D Nash February 27, 2011 At 4:52 pm

or Twit My Yahoo!!! lol
Vashawn D Nash February 27, 2011 At 4:46 pm

I LOVE how you just low key called him a girl in your excuse lmfao!
Vashawn D Nash February 27, 2011 At 4:19 pm

Soo….if the world really does end in 2012…then that means that ive wasted my ENTIRE LIFE in school….aha just lovely
Vashawn D Nash February 27, 2011 At 4:12 pm

I never really thought about why my friends parents were so rich…although i did start to question them when i found a ” Homeless. Needs money for food. God bless.” sign one day riding home in the back seat of their BMW
Dani February 27, 2011 At 2:25 pm

lol get a grip, cryin over justin bieber
missy February 27, 2011 At 10:37 am

lmao this is so effen funny
Dakotahackworth2010 February 27, 2011 At 9:35 am

Roses are red Violets are blue u are my chicken wing to my bread basket 2
Dimiitrii February 26, 2011 At 11:05 am

1 more – Last record from a black box of a crashed airplane: –Dad, dad give me to drive please !!
Guest February 26, 2011 At 3:05 am

you miss 100 % of the chances you don’t take!! sounds like that is a good fit for that girl. if she has a great voice she should get out there and show it off.. maybe she can make it too.
Aunero February 25, 2011 At 4:11 am

why does helen keller masturbate with only one hand? so she can moan with the other
Kate February 24, 2011 At 5:21 am

what does he have dirty shoes to?!
Skye Blankenship February 24, 2011 At 8:47 am

Im That Girl Your Ex Will Hate,Your Mom Will Love And Youll Never Forget
Skye Blankenship February 24, 2011 At 8:35 am

Sometimes I wish the world was flat so the idiot really could fall off the edge of the Earth.
Example February 24, 2011 At 6:46 am

really?
Peter Shen February 24, 2011 At 5:49 am

This is an awesome list! Made me laugh. Going to forward to my 5000 friends now in FB. lol
Peter Shen, founder http://koowie.com
Ahly February 24, 2011 At 5:21 am

i agreee
Joshd2009 February 24, 2011 At 2:19 am

becase its anoyin tht he became famous when i now a girl down road that has better voice
Dannybarnes February 23, 2011 At 4:24 pm

leave her alone you mean
Logan De Chetwode February 23, 2011 At 10:31 am

No one copied anything, they just changed the name when it was published in America, and Canada.
Logan De Chetwode February 23, 2011 At 10:29 am

What country do they call him wally in?
Logan De Chetwode February 23, 2011 At 10:21 am

good
Dsampson010 February 23, 2011 At 12:29 am

stfu
Heelzrule365 February 22, 2011 At 11:51 am

my friends status said, “standing on the edge of a cliff :/”…so i poked him.
Daniel Drummer Windus February 22, 2011 At 11:23 am

<=====================================O.M.G ITS MY NAME
JEbear24 February 22, 2011 At 7:55 am

i would of emailed you earlier but my cat ate the mouse.
brianna love February 22, 2011 At 6:17 am

wow have to use this sum time
Bree Tahtamouni February 22, 2011 At 5:29 am

this is AMAZING !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jessica February 21, 2011 At 12:31 pm

so is killing someone else tho haha
Meee February 21, 2011 At 1:15 am

odee. I dont think he’s gay, dont be mad cuz he lookes better than you ever will .
muffslayer February 20, 2011 At 11:34 pm

lmao.. i love douche bag witty comments like this !
hats off to u sir
Bad 6 February 20, 2011 At 5:32 am

dnt look at my pink shirt its ir gf’s 😀
JustinMerrick February 20, 2011 At 2:18 am

Ahhh shit. Another “Leave Brittney Alone!!!!” freak? All for Justin Beiber, how cute.. Spelling check: CUT not VUT. Just out trolling, carry on haha.
Eion Andrews February 19, 2011 At 4:46 pm

You probably know all of the Justin Websites. I can just see you now…35 years old, 135 cats, and 335 lbs. Get a life, and a waist.
cute si em February 19, 2011 At 2:33 pm

AWESOME!!!! m/
Jennettekiely February 19, 2011 At 5:01 am

agree
Jennettekiely February 19, 2011 At 4:59 am

skit how awkward would that be 🙂
SAMI February 18, 2011 At 11:55 pm

ANNIE BUTLER, YOU’RE STUPID AND SO ARE YOUR COMMENTS.
SAMI February 18, 2011 At 11:47 pm

AIM AND ANN, GET A F**KING LIFE YOU BEIBER IDIOTS! GOD, HE DOESN’T GIVE A SH*T WHO SAYS WHAT ABOUT HIM!!! HE’S A LITTLE MILLIONAIRRE KID AND YOU’RE NOT! SO, YOU NEED TO FEEL SORRY FOR YOURSELVES INSTEAD OF STICKING UP FOR SOMEONE WHO DOESN’T GIVE A FLYING F**K ABOUT YOU! IDIOTS. GOD. PATHETIC THAT ANYONE GIVES A SH*T ABOUT THIS BEIBER FAG. GROW UP, STUPID B*TCHES!!
SAMI February 18, 2011 At 11:41 pm

You’re an idiot, Charli. They weren’t talking about anyone in wheel chairs. Go rent a brain cell and read the joke again. Here it is in LAME-man’s terms “If someone is in a wheel chair and has dirty shoes, then he’s PRETENDING to be in a wheelchair and is LYING!!!” GET IT, DUMB ASS?!!!
Steve February 18, 2011 At 11:35 pm

wow, why is this “aim” weirdo sticking up for Beiber, for God’s sake? Are you making his money, Aim Pownall? I think not. So, don’t worry about it and don’t call other people names unless you learn how to spell. What an idiot. ha ha
Blahblah February 16, 2011 At 7:38 pm

My Math Marks Make Me Mad.
Burnik2000 February 16, 2011 At 7:36 pm

its “cursor”
Karl T February 16, 2011 At 6:56 pm

“If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends” if only all girls were like the spice girls
Spotfan13 February 16, 2011 At 7:59 am

oh calm down
Mtwtfss February 15, 2011 At 2:40 pm

I want to kiss a girl any volunteer?
Bradster February 15, 2011 At 9:25 am

I just changed the name of my iPod to “The Titanic” so whenever I plug it in to my computer it says “The Titanic is syncing”
guest February 15, 2011 At 8:27 am

is his shoes dirty if they are hes lying to u
Steelforce7 February 15, 2011 At 2:40 am

Mind didn’t… 🙁
Steelforce7 February 15, 2011 At 2:38 am

or my face you twit
Daftlunatic February 14, 2011 At 10:55 am

If Practice makes perfect, then my parents must have practiced a lot before they made me. XP
Chocaholic-crazybaby February 13, 2011 At 2:51 pm

“Dude.. She has a boyfriend?” “Yeah so? Football has a goalkeeper, doesn’t mean you can’t score!”
Beth February 12, 2011 At 7:22 pm

and then you ^ go get a life
Hairycornflakes February 12, 2011 At 5:11 pm

PMSL love it haha

I see a bloke the other day with wooden legs!!!!!

BUT!!! real feet 🙂
Funckygirlz February 12, 2011 At 12:37 pm

I DONT GET IT :S
Dude February 12, 2011 At 10:54 am

Guy: Did It Hurt?
Chick: Did What Hurt?
Guy: When you fell from…
Chick: Heaven Awww :’)
Guy: No, when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down!!
Chick: ……….
Guy: Hahaha BITCH!!
Annie Butler February 12, 2011 At 10:31 am

Roses are red & Violets are blue… IN SOVIET RUSSIA POEM WRITE YOU!!!!
Dylan El Teto Valdez February 12, 2011 At 5:44 am

the apple does not fall far from the tree…unless you throw it really hard
emilyannepeters February 12, 2011 At 5:06 am

haha i loveee thiiiss
King.Arsalan February 12, 2011 At 3:17 am

This is too much funnnnnnnnnnyyyyyyyy. 😀
Jeff L'Hirondelle February 11, 2011 At 8:58 am

What does a blond and a beer bottle have in common? there both empty from the neck up
Ek! February 11, 2011 At 3:32 am

They tell us to send our clothes to the starving in Africa, Believe me if they can fit into mine they are not starving…
joe February 10, 2011 At 8:42 am

it is the party dont start till i walk in lol
Washington Mikah February 10, 2011 At 7:24 am

um he wasnt making fun of ppl in wheelchairs dumby,he was making a joke!!!
Jack Dawson February 9, 2011 At 9:17 pm

This is awesome!
Slaterhead February 9, 2011 At 6:36 pm

im level 30
kevin February 9, 2011 At 11:10 am

A divorced man walks over to his ex-wifes new hubby n asked…so how does it feel enjoying 2nd hand goods?..Doesn’t bother me,he responds..actually once u get past the 1st 3 inches, the rest is all brand new
taterbug1394 February 9, 2011 At 5:22 am

I was on farmville once then immigration came a took all of my workers!
Sacredxvampyress February 9, 2011 At 4:42 am

The Zodiacs only changed for people born after 2009…
Bahonkiss21 February 9, 2011 At 3:10 am

thank you… and thats just a little taste my friend
Ann Eckert February 9, 2011 At 2:10 am

Why the hell does everyone dis on Justin bieber? What did he do to you? NOTHING you wish you where famous!:)
Ellenamy February 8, 2011 At 4:41 pm

Rude and offencive but I like it 😛
?King Solomon? February 8, 2011 At 6:21 am

:)) ….. a lady walking by the street saw a man staring at her breasts …. she went up to him and asked “can u plss take something out of my breasts” … he said SURE ! … then she says “take your eyes off it you asshole” …. :)) hehe.
AustinR February 8, 2011 At 6:20 am

Going to McDonalds for salad is like going to a prostitute for a hug.
Brader_danny February 8, 2011 At 4:15 am

THE APPLE DOESN’T FALL FAR FROM THE I-PHONE…I MEAN TREE..I’M PRETTY SURE I WAS ABOUT TO SAY TREE
Jackie February 8, 2011 At 1:16 am

LOL FUNNY CHIZ
Azambella11 February 7, 2011 At 11:03 pm

Lol. is gay supposed to be something bad?
Justinbieber211 February 7, 2011 At 7:39 pm

I love how u have nothing else to do but call someone u dont even know bitch.
Aim-pownall211 February 7, 2011 At 7:38 pm

No right this is a website not even CONCERNING Justin Bieber al right leave him alone VUT HIM SOME SLACK dude. Jerk.
kevin February 7, 2011 At 9:16 am

hehehe now thats kind of comforting!!
Stephanie Stars Mayhue February 6, 2011 At 8:59 pm

☆99 problems. 99 bottles of beer on the wall. Coincidence? ☆
sometimes thinks that Facebook should change the status question from “What’s on your mind?” to “What’s your problem today?
☆ Men think about sex every seven seconds…..Which is why I eat suckers in under six seconds…so it doesn’t get weird.☆
☆I Wonder What Would Happen If I Walked Through Sea World With A Fishing Pole….?☆
‎”My oven has a button that says ‘Stop Time’. I know it’s probably supposed to say ‘Stop Timer’, but I don’t touch it, just in case.
Eman February 6, 2011 At 10:18 am

people say love is in every corner…… GOSH!!! i think i might be going in circles
babygirl * February 6, 2011 At 6:47 am

My bf said he was gunna give me the world but i told him in this rate of crimes n this resesion i dont want it lol ….all i asked for was ur heart not a shytty deal lmfaoo now i gotta change my status to single 🙁
Ant February 5, 2011 At 7:11 pm

If Helen Keller had psychic ability, would you say she had a 4th sense?
Hassan Saleem February 5, 2011 At 2:17 pm

Iam The Person Which Your Mother always Told yew Bout !!
C-luv February 5, 2011 At 4:16 am

Hey, be nice. Justin Beiber’s a great role model for young lesbians around the world.
Ice_breaker60 February 4, 2011 At 4:43 pm

he doent have dirty shoes though…
bobelina February 4, 2011 At 5:59 am

it’s basically like a parody of the old spice men’s stuff commercials
Psuman528 February 4, 2011 At 1:48 am

I wanna kill the sexiest person alive, but suicide is a crime
Larrilaine February 4, 2011 At 1:19 am

is more tired than a one legged stripper on a friday night!!!
Sandilocks February 3, 2011 At 5:54 pm

Just like the old spice commercial hilarious!!!!!!=D
Top20lists February 3, 2011 At 5:54 am

POKE ME ONE MORE TIME…LOL….that was awesome!!
Jordan ƁƠƝƘЄƦƧ Mcguire February 2, 2011 At 11:14 pm

That was a good one (:
Pinetree February 1, 2011 At 6:23 am

Well if his shoes arnt dirty you’ve got nothing to worry about!
Rosiemckay February 1, 2011 At 5:58 am

What do u call a girl in bed
Answer: Laid!
amj. Mazinakouskang January 31, 2011 At 4:41 pm

no, there really is a PotFarm man, like for real, im like level 25 man
Britt Si21 January 31, 2011 At 4:19 am

he probably deserved it :0
Xpivotfoxx January 31, 2011 At 12:40 am

Whats the difference between Justin Bieber And a Snickers bar? A snIckers bar has nuts.
Matsmith1992 January 30, 2011 At 2:48 pm

is his shoes dirty lol
Taylorsonia January 30, 2011 At 2:31 pm

OMG-I wish it were christmas right now so i could use thata one,Pmsl,x
Taylorsonia January 30, 2011 At 2:28 pm

Please copy and paste this to your status if you know someone, or have been affected by someone who needs a punch in the face. People who need a punch in the face affect the lives of many. There is still no known cure for someone who deserves a punch in the face, except for a punch in the face. But we can still raise awareness!
Taylorsonia January 30, 2011 At 2:27 pm

Sometimes life can be one BIG BITCH….Shame ya cant just SLAP it!!!
Danrollason83 January 30, 2011 At 12:21 pm

thats just typical americans copy everything we do
Bazinga January 30, 2011 At 9:23 am

america i think.
Lkcrwdr January 30, 2011 At 9:21 am

you have to talk about something if you’re gonna make fun of it. I think its hilarious! but whats even funnier is you getting offeneded by it! lol
Landrews3721 January 30, 2011 At 4:36 am

HELP someone hacked me facebook and typed this!!!
Mohit Sharma2112 January 29, 2011 At 4:25 pm

Forget sluts and love boomerangs. They come back!
Curtis Cross January 29, 2011 At 2:20 am

WHOW…
Jose January 28, 2011 At 7:28 am

hahahahahahaha good one XD
Charli January 27, 2011 At 6:50 pm

you can shut it my dads in a wheelchair thx
Emmel Roman Miñoza January 26, 2011 At 11:55 am

Practice makes perfect. But then again nobody’s perfect.. so why practice?
<3 LOVE IT!!! <3 January 26, 2011 At 3:20 am

Sorry my mom told me not to put small things into my mouth.
Biggers January 25, 2011 At 3:03 pm

I like to name my ipod ‘Titanic’ so when it says ‘Syncing Titanic’ i click cancel and it makes me feel like a hero.
Dlpdaniel January 24, 2011 At 6:14 pm

what about this: behind every great man is a great woman… but our wife is always between us!
Kelleyschaper January 22, 2011 At 4:36 am

Just sayin, I feel bad for everyone that had their zodiac sign tattooed on them.
Jazzy January 21, 2011 At 11:08 pm

got into a fight with my alarm clock this morning it wanted me to wake up i disagreed now the alarms broken and im wide awake…not sure who won
Xxstephxx971 January 19, 2011 At 8:16 pm

umm can we not talk about justin bieber.. kay thanks!(;
CC January 19, 2011 At 12:22 am

LOL
thats so funny
Lacie January 18, 2011 At 9:41 pm

There is pot farm now! So you can plant it there.. ahaha.
whatchalookinatfreak January 17, 2011 At 2:47 am

shake for me girl i wanna be ur back door bandit-richard nixon…im like 80% sure it was him and not led zepplen…maybe 65% sure….oh yeh it was led zepplin
Chlo0199 January 16, 2011 At 4:55 pm

i dont get it
naomi annabell January 15, 2011 At 10:53 pm

thiss is bearrr shitt u noee some off demm areee just SHIT …
Clementsrl January 15, 2011 At 8:03 pm

Those were funny
bytch13 January 15, 2011 At 7:59 pm

when i see dumb people, i shake my head and think to myself, if only their mom wouldve swallowed haha
kalivicent January 14, 2011 At 4:27 pm

i saw yo sis on da street, then is yo Mam a ………..??
kalimba January 14, 2011 At 4:20 pm

No work done u shd go for the lawn care!
Tri_edge_25 January 14, 2011 At 1:48 pm

I like how you are so anti Justin Bieber and yet you can’t stop talking about him.
Vivek January 13, 2011 At 7:06 pm

success is a reflection of hard work..!
Morgan January 13, 2011 At 4:53 pm

she does say start..
Chacam07 January 13, 2011 At 12:42 am

OMFG there’s a dislike button on this page!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
…amazing…
Mohammed_lilyo January 12, 2011 At 8:58 pm

Lmfao dude thats funnny
Izzgoezz January 12, 2011 At 6:15 pm

OMG!!! funniest f-ing status EVER!!!!!!
anonymous January 12, 2011 At 10:00 am

Question: what is a prostitute’s mother called?
Answer: Mother fucker.. 🙂
i know its quite silly cuz i made it up
Camille January 12, 2011 At 4:55 am

Yeah. Here it’s called “Where’s Waldo?”.
Cjcc4196 January 12, 2011 At 1:27 am

here’s two i came up with randomly.
“how do you spell gay?”
“g.a.y?”
“noooo! j.u.s.t.i.n b.i.e.b.e.r!” (;
&
what’s the difference between puberty & a water bottle? a water bottle hit Justin Bieber first! (;
Cloudbreakgirl January 11, 2011 At 8:26 pm

whiichh onesss?
Zotac January 11, 2011 At 7:04 pm

Unless he’s tryin to insult him self
Cheergirl January 11, 2011 At 5:10 pm

Ha i know right! haha that’s funny where did u come up with that?
Dan McHardy January 10, 2011 At 7:16 am

I never thought of this one lol!
Dan McHardy January 10, 2011 At 7:15 am

Oh my gosh this is confusing… but I like it!
Dan McHardy January 10, 2011 At 7:14 am

haha that would be amazing!
chumba January 10, 2011 At 5:46 am

confusing oh im just stupid lol
Maidenoffaith January 9, 2011 At 10:23 pm

Love Love Love!
Msseptember1957 January 9, 2011 At 3:39 pm

Behind every great woman is a man looking at her ass!
Solja boii January 9, 2011 At 12:18 pm

i’d rather Cry over cuts & stitches. not sluts & bitches !
Dana Goldenberg9 January 8, 2011 At 1:13 am

good1
Courtney January 7, 2011 At 11:52 pm

Wouldn’t you rather mean the party dont START till you walk in?
xxxpj999 January 7, 2011 At 3:28 am

For just £5 a month, you can buy me a beer and bring joy, a smile, and drunk times to my face. If enough of you do this, you CAN make a difference! Remember, a ‘X’ is for life, not just for Xmas
Michaelwright January 6, 2011 At 6:11 pm

Please close your eyes and the chat box too… I wanna take a pee!
Tannervandera January 5, 2011 At 2:10 am

heres a good one… “a bug just landed on my computer screen and my first reaction was on try and scare it away with the curser”
XldH January 3, 2011 At 11:06 pm

actuallyyyyyy, it depends on which country your from :]
Darcy Bolingbroke January 2, 2011 At 6:02 pm

remebers the day were apple and blackberry were just fuit
free games at jackwatling.com January 1, 2011 At 8:08 pm

status: I can’t log into facebook 🙁
Sweetbetty January 1, 2011 At 2:02 am

i know the world isn’t going 2 end in 2012 cuz my yogurt expires in 2013!
KIMMIEWHO December 30, 2010 At 5:45 pm

Wish my husband would give me a break and just call himself an IDIOT
Jennifer-lynne December 30, 2010 At 5:49 am

poke me one more time…..and i’m stealing all ur chips!!!
amoulicious December 28, 2010 At 9:31 am

hahahahahahha!
Hooliganzy December 27, 2010 At 2:56 am

one more “Single doesn’t mean available , not single doesn’t mean not available”
Schefer Megan December 26, 2010 At 11:29 am

Heres couple i liked that i put as mine
” sorry Ke$ha the party dont stop till I walk in”
And
” honk if you love Jesus Textwhile driving if you want to meet him”
Rohit December 24, 2010 At 6:21 am

One more for you guys… “Is wondering if you can grow marijuana on Farmville then sell it on Mafia Wars?”
Star_laraib December 24, 2010 At 3:37 am

Awesome 🙂 So fuunnny 🙂
I put some on facebook and got like 30 – 50 likes 😀
Jay December 23, 2010 At 4:49 am

Hello everyone. Look at your status, now back to mine, now back to yours, now back to mine. Sadly, yours isn’t mine. But if you stopped posting about other things and made this your status, yours could be like mine. Look down, back up. Where are you? You’re on Facebook, reading the status your status could be like
woofers December 22, 2010 At 7:38 pm

Ohhh I got one… Roses are redish, Violets are blueish, if it weren’t for Christmas, we would all be Jewish!
Ohmacamtuke December 22, 2010 At 1:16 pm

try this :
Type your name: (eg.) katie
Type it with your elbow: aptiw
Type it with your nose: jsyoe
Type it with your eyes closed: katie
Put this as your status and don’t erase the mistakes

:))
Mariahthorpe54 December 22, 2010 At 12:41 pm

haha
Richard Barnard December 22, 2010 At 12:16 pm

is wondering if santas had a C.R.B check………??
Kelsey December 21, 2010 At 10:41 pm

i love how justin bieber can hit high notes but not puberty!!!!
Annon December 21, 2010 At 12:21 pm

Before you know it, theres gonna be something called YouTwitFace
Emmy December 21, 2010 At 3:52 am

Wow!! Most are funny bt some can’t be used!!!!
Brennden Comstock December 19, 2010 At 3:44 pm

i love it when my computer says ” are you sure you want to continue unprotected “
Allishakitty December 18, 2010 At 2:08 am

if barbies so popular why do u have to buy her friends
Kimasis4life December 15, 2010 At 6:31 pm

heres one…… NEVER trust a man in a wheelchair with dirty shoes.
Looloo29 December 15, 2010 At 7:00 am

Sometimes your Knight in shinning armour is just an idiot wrapped in tinfoil
SAHL AHMED SHAIKH November 30, 2010 At 3:04 pm

loved it 😀

used all of them 😀

thank btw

http://www.humortechblog.co.cc
Mr. JD November 30, 2010 At 3:56 am

On facebook but my Chat is offline.
Pells1982 November 29, 2010 At 11:08 pm

New one… X thought he saw a ninja while driving home today… Turned out to be just a light pole… Or was it?
Mcintyresummer November 11, 2010 At 3:16 am

this helped me sooo much!!! especially the my face you twit, and the wheres waldo book!!!
Gr82bjules November 9, 2010 At 10:56 pm

I just made this one up..People make the world go around but at some point don’t you wish it were flat so all the idiots would keep walking and never come back?
Anonymous November 9, 2010 At 2:06 am

•is a member of the jehovah’s witness protection program
Anonymous November 7, 2010 At 2:47 am

I like two of my most recent: 1) Leave the DRAMA at the door or I will push you down the stairs and tell others that you fell! or 2) If FED EX and UPS merged would they be FED UP?
Lkakokih November 5, 2010 At 1:52 am

bitch is your mom
Cwfooseball November 4, 2010 At 10:01 pm

your cool?
aman November 4, 2010 At 7:54 am

lolz nyc 1
ELINA November 4, 2010 At 12:38 am

LMFAO!!!! 😀 AHAHAHAAHAH!
Iescott October 31, 2010 At 10:28 am

that really helped me for a really funny status. thanks alot for all them status’. in future i am soo gonna go on this website. AMAZING
CHScheer007 October 28, 2010 At 7:09 pm

grow up.
Compton_boy_17 October 26, 2010 At 8:42 pm

twitters gay
Faizurr October 25, 2010 At 3:05 pm

Thank You.
Poop October 23, 2010 At 3:34 am

8===3 suck it
Kearstyn October 11, 2010 At 10:26 pm

So I was a little tipsy last night… I DIDN’T MEAN TO CHEAT ON YOU!
dylan October 11, 2010 At 9:55 am

how do i get my pills in the cabnet if the gummy bears and animal crackers are at war
dylan October 11, 2010 At 9:49 am

sorry i was a little drunk at your party last night i hit my head………in your sister